I need a reality check!

[Dadadaisy123]

I was in a five year relationship. My first one. We broke up 10 months ago. Since then I met some really interesting people, but Im still single.. i guess its never a mutual interest, but thats fine, I can survive the rejection.. Anyway, my new interest and potencial rejecter is a friend of a friend, and I guess we are friends now, because weve been hanging out for some months now. When we met she said to my friend i was amazing but she didnt want to have casual encounters with anyone at that moment. So i decided to move on to another romantic interest and stop flirting with her. This was 4 months ago.

But the thing is, I recently noticed that lately she has been touching me a lot! She even puts her hands on my thighs. On the other hand, she talks about other people with me, and even talks about her poop. Today she told me she is constipated. So i get confused, because there are clear signs she isnt attracted to me. But there is so much touching! I asked my other friend if she was like that to her and she said "no". And they are really close. Am I reading too much into it?? Because sometimes I think we have great chemistry but she doesnt realise it or is afraid to realise because of previous disapointments. But then again, Im out of a 5 year relationship and totally ready to be in love again.

But, to be honest, the only sign of attraction I ever get from her is the touching.

Can anyone help me make sense of it? I just want to do whats best for me, and move on with my life if i have to. Thanks!

[glitterfingers]

I'm inclined to say she's not interested. This is what gives it away:

 

Because sometimes I think we have great chemistry but she doesnt realise it or is afraid to realise because of previous disapointments.

 

"Great chemistry" requires reciprocation. If you can't tell where she's at, and you're making guesses that it's because she's unaware or afraid of it, then it's not a two-way feeling. When the chemistry and attraction are mutual, it's obvious - eye contact, body language and conversational topics/words align. And both parties will generally verbally acknowledge it early on.

 

She just sees you as a good friend and enjoys your company.

 

I'm not saying that can't change, but sounds like you need to put some boundaries in place so that your attraction/emotions don't get the better of you

[Dadadaisy123]

I'm inclined to say she's not interested. This is what gives it away:

 

 

 

"Great chemistry" requires reciprocation. If you can't tell where she's at, and you're making guesses that it's because she's unaware or afraid of it, then it's not a two-way feeling. When the chemistry and attraction are mutual, it's obvious - eye contact, body language and conversational topics/words align. And both parties will generally verbally acknowledge it early on.

 

She just sees you as a good friend and enjoys your company.

 

I'm not saying that can't change, but sounds like you need to put some boundaries in place so that your attraction/emotions don't get the better of you

 

I totally agree with you about the boundaries!

[Dadadaisy123]

But I really wish I could stop reading too much into things. Whenever im attracted to someone, I think they like me back. I feel dellusional

[nutbrownhare]

I totally agree with you about the boundaries!

 

It also strikes me that she has problems with boundaries, firstly the inappropriate touching and secondly the over-sharing - things like talking about her constipation. It's not an attempt to connect with you, but rather an indication that she's not sure of what is and isn't appropriate.

[Dadadaisy123]

It also strikes me that she has problems with boundaries, firstly the inappropriate touching and secondly the over-sharing - things like talking about her constipation. It's not an attempt to connect with you, but rather an indication that she's not sure of what is and isn't appropriate.

 

Hahaha, sorry, i had to laugh. Yeah, probably she does have problems... and a lot of it are sexual. She said she never had an orgasm with another person, and that sometimes she believes she is either asexual or lesbian. Im a girl, by the way.

[Dadadaisy123]

Reality: checked!