I can't function w/out thinking about her

[sdguy118]

I have been trying as hard as I can to go on about my day without her, and honestly, I think I've been doing pretty good. But lately, I just can't stop thinkng about her. Everything I do I think about her. On the way to my physical therapy every other day, I drive past the place she told me she went on a date with some guy greg to, and every time I drive past the place, I think about her with him. It just kills me inside. I hate to think about it but I do. I really can't talk to her, and I told her I don't like to talk to her that much, cuz every time I do talk to her, she always ends up hurting me in some way or another. I always leave the situation feeling really depressed and distraught about life. I always leave the conversation feeling worthless, and that I have lost the greatest thing to me. but at the same time, there are and i know there are SO many red flags about her and the relationship. I try to tell myself she's not the one for me, but it just kills me every time i think about it. I can't eat at all, I'm losing weight fast...I can't sleep well at all, I went out last weekend and drank tooo much, won't do that agian. that didn't solve anything. i just miss her so much i don't know what to do. help please!

[StandTall]

I went through the same scenario. Dropped from 275# down to 239#, and cried everyday for a year. I can honestly say that time and keeping busy are your only friends, and progress may seem slow. It sucks, but you need to try to erase your memory of her completely. Hang in there.

[mdandrea]

I am going through the same thing right now. It hurts man, try reading the Bible, think happy thoughts and watch comedy central. Darn, I wish I had cable right now.

[mick8888]

I am sorta in the middle of this EXACT SITUATION too, although I have come to realize some things (see my post of a few minutes ago) and also thinking more about those "red flags" in our relationship, just like you mentioned. Like me, it might be your self-esteem that's hurting more than missing her as a person. In other words, you just want SOMEONE who will give you those good feelings you get when you're into someone who really likes you back, rather than missing her specifically. Because your rational mind knows that there were problems with her, but your heart won't let you remember the bad stuff.

 

For a while I wasn't eating well and was sleeping awful (didn't drown my sorrows in alcohol or heroin or anything, thank god), but then I realized that I am more important than her, and my life is the one thing I have got, the one thing that I control (as William Henley put it, "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul') and I wasn't going to let ANYONE take hold of MY life and ruin it. I am more important than that. So I started forcing myself to hang out with friends, started going to the gym EVERY DAY (which helps with sleep in addition to fitness), started eating really well, and just started living in the moment as much as possible, and not getting hung up on the past, just forcing that stuff out of my head and if it got really bad, just to distract myself with a book or a movie or TV, just ANYTHING until it passed. And that stuff has definitely helped. I usually HATE cliches and that whole "pep talk" stuff, I generally think it's corny, but I have to admit that one commonly heard phrase is super useful: "This is the first day of the rest of your life." I look at every day as a new opportunity instead of dwelling on past things I can't change. I mean sure, wouldn't it be great to go back in time and kill Hitler before he started the Holocaust? Sure, but you can't. And in the same way, you can't go back in time when you were happy with your then-girlfriend, it's just not doable. So why stress it? The past is the past, it's over, and all we have is the present and the future, so why not make the best of it? The greatest news of all? It DOES get better. The future you will be much happier than the present you, I can guarantee you that. So just work toward that little by little, day by day, with a positive attitude, and you'll get there faster than you think.

[clarkster2005]

Well said Mick8888.

 

The best things for you to do are to concentrate on yourself, do things that will take your mind off your situation. Work on you as at the moment, you are are the most important thing in your life. Going to the gym is good one as, like you say, it helps you sleep, but it will also help with your confidence in the future. Your confidence is probably rock bottom, so working on yourself, making yourself look better, makes you feel better, so in time, your confidence will return.

 

Im going through the exact same thing, so your not on your own mate. Its tough, very tough, but the two things u need to keep are staying positive and keeping busy. Take each day or week as it comes. One of the things that keeps me going is that I know It will get better, as ive been through it before. And it will get better, there is no doubt. You just need time. But use the time to focus on yourself.

 

There are lot different people out there, and i always keep telling myself that Im not going to meet somebody like my ex again. But on the other hand, i never knew she existed until I met her. And I remember saying that exact same thing about my ex before that, but you do go on to meet somebody even better, they are out there, and I am sure you will meet somebody even better than your ex......so like they say down under...no worries mate.

[filmraven]

I'm going through the exact same thing as everyone else here and probably so many more in this world.

 

It's so hard. What I've noticed though is that when I have more time on my hands and less to do that's when I begin to get really sad, and miss my ex a lot. It's true that if you keep busy you really don't think about them quite so much. I must say though I could relate entirely to your mention about driving by certain places and it bringing a thought to mind about them. I have a hard time passing certain ends of the city just because there is an immense connection to my heart with that location which floods back memories.

 

Do you have more time on your hands lately? I know personally that's been my problem...And the weight issue...I dropped ten pounds-went from 120llb to 110 in about a week... oh the hands we're dealt sometimes.

[cyankino]

just keep remembering why you are not with that person anymore and keep yourself busy, everyone anywhere, will tell you that keeping busy and your mind of your ex is the best way to go. but its not easy. it never is.

 

just take it one day at a time, write a journal, take up a hobbie, contact a friend you have not called in a long time. find something new to do. you now have a lot more free time.

 

Good luck.