"On a Break" lost and confussed

[truserendipity]

I've been reading the forums on this site for weeks now, trying to get and insight on my own situation, but still i'm lost and thought i'll get some insight from others. Pretty much i've gone through all the stages of crying, being depress, and just wanting my ex back. So the story goes like this: Me and my ex have been together for six months and everything was great. The first few months i would hear from him almost daily and we would talk for hours. But the past two months our conversations was cut down to a few minutes here and there. He has given the excuses that we're just too busy with school and work, and it's just harder to find time to talk with each other and see each other. But regardless i was able to find time to spend with him when he said he couldn't.

 

Because we go to different colleges, we usually only see each other once a week, during the weekend. But a month or so before things ended between us, that once a week time just started to disappear. He tells me that he's just too tired after work. But the thing that has gotten me is that during the time we use to talk on the phone or go out.... he uses it to play games, watch tv. etc. Another thing i noticed is that we use to talk on aim a lot too, but he would spend less time on and play his games. I even learned that he'd be hiding so he wouldn't appear to be online, and i couldn't help feel that he was hidding from me. I just keep telling myself that this guy just needs to grow up and get his property straight and i shouldn't bother to stay with him. But i find it hard to just let go.

 

So we went through 2weeks not seeing each other, and about a week of barely talking, after getting fustrated with things i confronted him of everything and mentioned that maybe we needed a break. Well long story short he had wanted to end things but then said we should probably go on a break. He told me that we're not broken up but just on a "break," and we'll see how things go when there's more time for each other I questioned him how long our break was going to be and he said the there's no schedule to it, that it's endless and we would just have to see how things go.

 

My friends told me that he just used the term "break" to take the easy way out in saying to breakup. So i accepted what they said and took it as a breakup, but a few days later he calls me and says happy 6 months anniversary, talked a little, said he'll talk with me later in the week, and ended the conversation with saying he loved me. What am i suppose to take of that? Where do we stand in this relationship? It's been a week now since i last heard from him, but i haven't heard from him since. And i find myself finding him hiding after he logs on to aim. I dont know what's going on in his head, our where we stand in this relationship.... i need help

[guy40az]

Well I don't mean to sound crude but if he is online hiding from you then he really doesn't want to spend time with you and I would just move on with my life. If I really cared about someone I wouldn't be hiding online when I could be spending time with them. Have you ask him why he gets online and doesn't talk to you?

 

I would confront him on it and tell him if he has time to get online and play games or chat with other friends then he should have time for you. I would take the "taking a break" as a breakup.

[DN]

You have to decide what you want and if he can offer it to you. If you want a complete relationship and nothing else then tell him that. Negotiate and compromise to find what level of contact and commitment you can both tolerate, do it calmly without such phrases like "growing up".

 

If you can agree to a break but need a date by which a decision is made, negotiate that as well, but insist that a date be fixed.

 

If he cannot offer you what you want, then you should terminate the relationship and find someone who will.

[Hope75]

I have to agree that this guy probably wants to break up and is just too cowardice to do it.

 

You deserve a guy who wants you 100% of the time and who does not play juvinile games like he is doing.

 

I would tell him if I were you, that you don't want to take a break, and either he has to be in this relationship 100% or it's over. Frankly, I don't understand why he didn't just end it when he had the chance.

 

I wish you the best of luck in moving on, but def. let this guy know that you are not going to accept this and it has to be one way or the other, not somewhere in between.

[truserendipity]

Thanks for your insights. I am accepting things btw us as a break up, it was just him calling me up to wish me happy six months that had confussed me. It's like if your whole intention is to just breakup to begin with, why would you call.

 

iono.. hanging in there and trying to move on one day at a time.

[heat]

The relationship has only been six months. He may have found qualities in you that are not compatable with his and he is less interested at this point. In the early part of the relationship you were a priority, you were new, so was the sex. This is just what happens when people are not ment to be. Move on. If your anniversary was important he would have had major plans...not a phone call. Dont believe the hype!