How often do you think friends with benefits work out?

[unknownuser18]

I was wondering how often do you think friends with benefits end up working out? I used to be in 1 of these situations and was cut off (benefit wise) about 2 weeks ago we were friends with benefits for about 3 months and I guess it worked out alright. It was probally a good thing she cut it off because I was starting to develop feeling I think for her but was able to control it if I wanted to. I am cut off for awhile I believe I am not to sure how long and she is not sure how long if we are even going to start that up ever again. I have to admit it really sucks getting cut off cause masturbation is not nearly as fun as sex. I would have to say it works out in about 50% of the time but alot of times 1 person develops feeling for the other person. What ya all think about this?

[SimoneTiger]

What do you mean by "work out"?

 

I thought that a 'friends with benefits' situation is not meant to "work out," relationshipwise, in the first place--it only lasts until one of the parties decides to move on to something more fulfilling... Maybe I am wrong?

[shes2smart]

FWB situations are generally temporary at best. Oh, I suppose there are people who enter into them and it goes on for years, but my in experience (both first-hand and observing others) they generally run their course in a matter of months.

 

Why? Most often one or the other party wants something more than an FWB can provide--they want a "real" relationship, not just a bed buddy. Sometimes it's the girl, sometimes it's the guy...but the bottom line is the FWB becomes like eating chips when you're really hungry -- it'll tide you over, but you're gonna need real food.

 

Sex is a physically intimate act. Sometimes it is desirable or appropriate to separate it from being emotionally intimate. I question whether reasonably emotionally healthy people can or would want to separate the act from the emotions for a sustained period of time. Short term? Sure. Done that myself, and it made sense at the time. Long term? I'm not so sure that's an emotionally/spiritually healthy thing to do.

[Belinda]

Never.

From my personal experience and my friends experiences its one of THE stupidest and irresponcible things you can do. Giving away your emotions so freely without companionship is fine and well for some. Whatever floats your boat.

However, with such disrespect for these affections, and loosely placing them as a "fun" thing to do, rather than a beautiful display of love, youre setting yourself up for trouble.

Someone always takes it "too seriously" and gets hurt. When one of the "friends with benefits" gets with nother friend at the same time, you want to accuse them of cheating but you CANT.

You have the pain of being cheated on without actually being able to claim that they cheated.

Your feelings and emotions hardly ever count, and your friend becomes a shallow representation of your disrespect towards relationships.

If never works for long, and in almost all the cases Ive seen and heard it only ends in tears, confusion and stress.

My suggestion is go out and find someone who respects you, and respect them back. It will make the "benefits" all the more beautiful and valued.

[goddess23]

well...FWB are really meant to not develop into a relationship but i mean it seems you didnt want a relationsihp right now and you're happy with the decision so i wouldnt worry about it. as far as it working out, usually i hear it doesnt.

okay tell me something. am I in a FWB situation rite now? my ex and i went out veryy serious relationship it ended and now we told eachother we still like eachother but dont wanna put any labels on it and take it slow. the next day he told me he loved me but i didnt say it back (because i thought he wasnt being true) and later he said it just slipped out. we meet up like twice a week fool around we talk usually every nite online and talk about ourselves as "together" and talk all the time about how we would never cheat and what not so it is exclusive. however, it is very hot and cold and really and truly there isnt a real leabel on it. so would this be considered friends iwth benefits??

[sonjam]

I agree, FWB are not supposed to work out. It is something that is put in place, for awile until you or the other person moves on into a real relationship.

 

yes you can get hurt if you actually develop feelings for your FWB and he/she does not feel the same, and this is why it could potentially blow up in your face. One always have to considder the consequinces of your actions!

 

you will find a new love soon, be carefull not to get FWB too easily, it is far more rewarding being in a fulfilling relationship.