Confusion over my best friend and feelings...........

[scaryperson]

I was talking to my best male friend, and the subject of me havng a boyfriend came up (it had only lasted 2 days then)...he went strange on me, and after very light quizzing from me, he confessed that it was because he'd developed feelings for me...

I felt awful, because i put my friend through that

 

What made things worse was that the boyfriend called things off with me shortly after (they don't know each other) but i was over that within a few days.

 

Anyway, i'd suspected that my friend had feelings before i got the boyfriend, and i'd started to question myself even then...

 

But now, it's so much worse, I keep thinking about whether i do have feelings for him, and whether i would want to go out with him...my brain feels like mush with all my confusion

 

I keep thinking maybe i should take a risk, see if we'd work together, but i'm not even full sure of my feelings...i'm almost certain that my feelings are deeper than friendship now though...

 

I'm just scared to mention my growing feelings as he's a close friend, and i respect and care for him alot, and i am afraid of things being different, i don't want to lose him as a friend

 

Any suggestions as to why i'm confusing myself? or how i can stop being so afraid?

[lonelyangel]

hey this is a very common thing developing feelings for a best friend hence wwhy theres been so many arguments on whether men and women can be 'jus friends' but i think if u guys have a strong friendship and u both feel the same way for eachother and things don't work out..... things will not change to an extent sure u guys will be different cause ur levelof intimacy would have changed but trust me it won't affect ur friendship unless u allow it to....talk to him andlet him know that this is wat ur afraid of idf he's ur best friend anmd u guys care deeply for each other i'm sure u guys can work somethin out.. best of luck i hope i was helpful

[Alabama]

It's very normal to question if you have any feelings for him. It definetly sounds like you do and I would suggest telling him. That way it's in the open and it's for him to decide. I am sure your friendship will still last, but in case it doesn't. Know that you did the right thing. Good luck!

[scaryperson]

Thankyou you two

 

Just spent the day with him, just the two of us, enjoyed each others company...

Now the only problem left is how do i broach my feelings?

[rosierizzle]

It's possible that you are questioning your feelings for him because you know that he feels that way about you. Quite often when you find out that someone fancies you, you start to wonder if you feel that way about them. It's happened to me twice before - one time it went straight down the drain and we were over so fast but the second time I realised that I did have feelings for the guy and I started dating him and still am to this day.

 

It all depends on how big a risk you are willing to take. I personally think yuo should go for it. It sounds as though you do have feelings for him - if you didn't you probably wouldn't have written this message.

 

I think you should just be totally honest and tell him. I've learnt that honesty is the best way to go about things. Tell him now and you will both be less likely to get hurt further down the track!

 

Go for it!

 

Good Luck,

 

Rosie Rizzle