I hate missing someone this much

[Junkiee]

I'm so ready to move on but I can't because my heart is hurting so badly.

 

I broke up with my baby's father in December, since then I regret it. I feel like I should've weighed everything out before I took action. Now I'm in an emotional/financial turmoil because of it. As soon as we broke up he disappeared for 3 months. Yes! For a little while he begged and pleaded for me to take him back. However I was so angry with him that I shut down all attempts. He was my bestfriend & an amazing father AMAZING. Now im lucky if he will even ask about our son.. I miss him so much for that. I know I hurt him for leaving but he gave up on us and got into a relationship with an old coworker I always thought he had a thing for. She hates him having anything to do with me... she's so sure we are trying to rekindle old flames but I'm not that kind of girl. I just wanna see him happy & also be here for our son :( . When he begin coming back around it was so awkward. I could tell by his face that he was hurting so badly inside, taking deep breaths and trying to prolong leaving. When he got comfortable enough he started talking to me about his new relationship saying basically he wishes he would've waited for me to come back around instead of jumping into a new relationship. They're bond is nothing in comparison to ours, they argue alot, I've even seen him come visit with a black eye & him saying his favorite shirt got all ripped up etc. The whole time he's here with our son she's calling him texting him making sure we aren't doing anything makes me sad she doesn't even know me. That unlike her I wouldn't do anything to come between their relationship. While he was with me she would flirt with him, comment things under his pics that would make me mad, & give him rides home for work that he would never mention. I feel like he's so much more protective of her feelings then he was for me. I had to plead with him to stop communicating with her but now he's coming to me crying saying he made the biggest mistake ever losing me. It eats him alive everyday etc. He even says he got with her in attempt to ease the idea that I wasn't coming back. Apparently she goes through his phone hella & supposedly that's why he doesn't talk to me. But you guys tell me how someone could say all this type of to you then as soon as he's gone it's like he never said it or like I don't even exist in his world again. I hate to think he's playing on my heart because I can read people's emotions very well. And it's so clear to me that he misses us but he says he signed a deal with the devil. He always says this is the reason I was with you & why I didn't mess with her when she was throwing herself at me because I knew something wasn't right & now I can't even leave.... I messed up my opportunity to be with you.Yet after saying all that he tells me "I want my family back but I'm in a relationship ok." Cool I fell back left it alone, started ignoring him, he gets mad if I talk to new guys, tries to get me to talk to him by asking about the baby, if I ignore him he will try again the next day to try & get a response from me. I think he loves me but doesn't want me like that anymore. Fair enough our break up was horrendous. I even question if it's even worth being this sad about. I hate being this sad it's not me. I'm so hurt and confused, I lost any chance of ever having a family. Right before we broke up we had an abortion our first child may be autistic so I think that put a huge stress on our relationship not to mention we got pregnant literally 2 months into being together. We were strong parents together I think all the lack of alone time, having a baby too quickly & no time to be young anymore pushed us away from eachother. Finding out your child is different hurt us both everyone ostracized us. So I completely understand why he's out living his life like he's care free. Wanting your family back but at the same time enjoying the freedom. Hell if we didn't have a child together I feel like I wouldn't even be this sad

[DanZee]

Everything he's telling you is garbage. If he wants to leave his girlfriend, he could walk out at any time. He's just playing you and playing on your emotions and insecurities. You should make sure you get court-ordered child support out of him to pay for his kid, and you may want a formal visitation agreement where he can't just call you to complain about his girlfriend or drop in any time he wants to. You might even want him to visit the baby only when you're at your family's house so he doesn't pull this getting back together talk. The man is a coward. He walked out on his family. He walked out on his baby. Don't feel any sympathy for him! He's getting what he deserves, and you need to get what you deserve, like child support and protection from his lies. Pull yourself together and don't let him get away with this whining!

[shessofly]

Breaking up with someone is very risky if you aren't solid on your decision. As Danzee said, if he really wanted to get back together he would but he chooses to stay with the new girl. I would keep communication limited to the needs of your child. Since you say he's an amazing father, hopefully he will step up and not fade out due to the demands of a new gf.

 

Why did you break up? Your breakup was "horrendous" - explain? Did you only decide you wanted him back after he got with the new girl?

 

Make sure you break long posts into paragraphs. People are less likely to read large continuous blocks of text.

[Junkiee]

So sorry I'm new on here thanks for the heads up.

 

I never really wanted to break up in the first place, I stuck by his side for a really long time. He basically told me because he couldn't have me how he wanted me he didn't want to be friends. Then disappeared & showed back up with this new girl. I don't know what he wants to do or what to believe anymore he lies so much.

 

I had tried to be back with him other times but part of me felt like he wasnt too sure what he wanted. We broke up because he lies & does sneaky dumb . I didn't expect things to get so ugly. He's even told me he doesn't even want to be with the new girl he just doesn't have anywhere to go so I guess he's just using her too