Why Do I Feel So Much Sadness and Loss?

[Myknosis]

Why do I feel so much sadness and loss? Someone please help me! It's been almost six weeks since my wife left me to "find herself." I thought I was doing so great until I saw her two days ago to exchange mail. I was strong in that meeting with her, but afterwards I felt and still feel so much pain and loss.

 

There are so many people on this site that has experienced the same devastation. Here are the suggested solutions that everyone gave me:

1. Time will heal.

2. Go out with friends.

3. Take care of me.

4. Get a new hobby

5. Sleep, eat right & Exercise

6. Let go and move on

7. Accept that the relationship is over.

 

I've done all this and doing it daily. But visions of my wife (soon to be ex) haunt my mind and my longing for her is so incredibly deep. I feel so lonely in my world of friends, family, colleagues, and dates.

 

She has not cheated on me, I was so faithful to her, we were so happy. Then one day she determines that she needs independence and needs to find herself.

 

Girls - my "no contact" code - is this a good idea?

Guys - is your "no contact" attempts helping you?

 

Help me understand!!!

[taken]

i am so sorry to hear about your recent loss. i may not be able to help you. you have to want to be free of such a pain. you may be. i dont know. was there something going on in your relationship that may have given her the feeling like she needed to get out? ask her. i have not personally been in a situation even similar to this one. ( i sure hope not cause im only 14 ) anyways, i really cant give you much advise. i am truly sorry, and my heart goes out to you. just try to keep yourself together. you can get through this. i wish there was something i could do, but i dunno what. if there is let me know. that is why im here. sorry i could not be of much help.

[solstice48]

I know what your going through is one of the most difficult times in your life. The same thing happened to me & after 5 months & the finial divorce it still hurts. I do think that not seeing your ex or contacting her is the best thing to do. Seeing her is like putting a glass of water in front of a man that's dying of thirst & telling him he can't drink. I'd really like to tell you there's an easier way to work through this but I've found that there isn't. The anguish you're feeling is going to be around for awhile & its something your going to have to accept as part of the healing process. Try to make yourself accept the fact that she's not going to come back. Its a reality that your going to have to face & if it turns out differently then your a lucky man. Your not going to change her mind, if she does it will be from within herself. I know so much is going through your mind it seems impossible that you'll ever figure anything out about what happened or why. Unfortunely it an impossibilty your going to have to live with, you'll probably never find all of the answers your looking for. Live one day at a time & know that each day will bring you closer to where you want to be. Its not much but sometimes its all you'll have. Believe in yourself & the person you are. You will make through this!

[Sabrina_Decova]

Last year, after 14 years of friendship, my best friend and I had a fight and it was all over, OVERNIGHT. The first sign of trouble and she's gone. Could be feelings of repression from her part, could be lack of communication during the entire relationship. Its been almost 12 months and have gone through so many phases. One of the first things essential to healing is CRYING IT OUT. My sister was a great help to me, she managed to redirect my thoughts and forced me to go out eventhough I didnt want to. I went from angry to sad to hurt to being depressed- the works!!! I soon realised this injustice was KARMIC and that i had to go through it because it was meant that way. SPIRITUALITY helps you understand why we go through things in life that come from no where. While i still find it hard to forgive and forget, these are special ingredients of LETTING GO and MOVING ON. Sometimes we are put in situations to learn important lessons like overcoming EGO and ATTACHMENT. Depends how you look at it. I recently had a friend do an inspiring workshop with ANTHONY ROBBINS called UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN. Listening to his cd's help me realise that NOTHING LASTS FOREVER but while we are alive, LIFE LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW.

 

I know you are hurting because you love her, the injustice you feel inside but you have to find tools to detach those feelings from yourself. Dalai Lama has authored books on life and spirtuality. I recommend you to read his book for deeper understanding of why we go through situations in our life beyond our understanding.