Well April is here... the ex is getting married.

[Natasha207]

Hello again all! Have a long history of posting here.. finally escaped a toxic relationship after 7 years. He overlapped and gave me the okay to leave once finding a suitable replacement... that was 9 months ago. He is now getting married to sparkly new replacement this month (pretty sure she has my ring). I am working hard to move on but can't say that this is not bothering me. Im off social media for the month and have had him blocked for months.

 

Anyone have any good advice for pushing through this hurdle in the healing process? It sucks that I wanted to end it... but here i am stuck still healing and he is getting hitched to the 1st new fling. Ugh. Im throwing it out there.... I know we don't like to diagnose people on here.... but can I just scream 'NARCISSIST'! Or maybe it just makes me feel better thinking he's disordered.

Positive note: im officially off antidepressants I started taking last year in the midst of the breakup.

 

 

Thanks ENA [emoji173]

[DanZee]

The term narcissist is used a lot these days, but it's not exactly a negative term. What you experienced was a sociopath and an addict who emotionally abused you.

 

In any event, there are no easy solutions to working through a break up. Keep up what you're doing. Stay distracted. Get out in the sun. Hang out with friends and family. Go walking or hiking. It's been a year for you. Have you thought about dating again? Finding a good guy to hang out with? You deserve one.

[GoodGumbo]

Hi Natasha, I am sorry you are going through this mess. That is not the news you want to hear. You just have to keep telling yourself that he needs help and his new person needs your goodwill and best wishes. Hopefully, this new person will figure out what he is and how dangerous he is before getting to deeply dependent on him. I think we all fear that if the ex goes on to have a functional and happy relationship, it means we are the ones that were unhealthy. That isn't true of course.. it just means that they are doing a great job of acting now or that the new person is better suited to deal with them. Also, you will see where this gets him 10 months to 3 years down the road - nowhere and unhappy and probably looking for a new relationship. Try to look at this as a relief, as long as he has someone new, he won't be tormenting you.

[SweetGirl28]

That hurts but be glad since it was toxic. People don't change. How he was to you, she will get it too.

It may look all rosy and perfect but every relationship has issues.

 

The ring, no worries. Did you give it back? My ex took them off my finger when I asleep that idiot. I lost out on tens of thousands I could sold those!!!! Lol

 

Try and find a little humor in it somewhere. Find yourself a man who respects you.

[Natasha207]

The term narcissist is used a lot these days, but it's not exactly a negative term. What you experienced was a sociopath and an addict who emotionally abused you.

 

In any event, there are no easy solutions to working through a break up. Keep up what you're doing. Stay distracted. Get out in the sun. Hang out with friends and family. Go walking or hiking. It's been a year for you. Have you thought about dating again? Finding a good guy to hang out with? You deserve one.

Thank you for the reply. I am keeping busy with friends, family and living an active social life. Walking in the park and meditating. Doing all the textbook suggestions. I have been dating and am on dating apps, but no luck yet. The right one will come along eventially. I hope. Thanks

[Natasha207]

That hurts but be glad since it was toxic. People don't change. How he was to you, she will get it too.

It may look all rosy and perfect but every relationship has issues.

 

The ring, no worries. Did you give it back? My ex took them off my finger when I asleep that idiot. I lost out on tens of thousands I could sold those!!!! Lol

 

Try and find a little humor in it somewhere. Find yourself a man who respects you.

Thank you. He took the ring from my jewelry box when i was out of the house. You're right - might as well find humor in something. It sucks hah

[Natasha207]

Hi Natasha, I am sorry you are going through this mess. That is not the news you want to hear. You just have to keep telling yourself that he needs help and his new person needs your goodwill and best wishes. Hopefully, this new person will figure out what he is and how dangerous he is before getting to deeply dependent on him. I think we all fear that if the ex goes on to have a functional and happy relationship, it means we are the ones that were unhealthy. That isn't true of course.. it just means that they are doing a great job of acting now or that the new person is better suited to deal with them. Also, you will see where this gets him 10 months to 3 years down the road - nowhere and unhappy and probably looking for a new relationship. Try to look at this as a relief, as long as he has someone new, he won't be tormenting you.

Thank you. You're right. If he didnt overlap, he wouldve been hoovering me. This is my freedom. Just hurts that he is appearing to give her everything i so badly wanted from him. But less than a year is still likely the honeymoon stage. I hope by the time he does get his karma that ill be too indifferent to care.