Just broken...

[Yvi]

Im just broken. Its been 7 months since break up..after 7 years. He is with someone else since 4.5 into break up..got it confirmed a week ago..tho I knew it already..that gut feeling..i think I knew the day it happened. An ex from 20 years ago..so unreal. He just moved to another town and continued with his life..just like that..like I was never there. I think now he never really loved me..cuz how can you just move on otherwise. I cant even imagine myself with someone else atm.

 

I know what heartbreak is..i went trough one big one before..it was also long relationship..and it was hard on so many levels because it changed my life completely back then..and I was cheated and the whole situation was far worse. But im feeling much worse now than back then..i loved more..and he was a unique person..the kind you don’t meet to often. I really fell for him hard. Maybe first time in my life like that.

 

We broke it off because the relationship wasn’t moving forward..i started the big talk..and told him I cant do it any more like this and I want things to change or we just part ways..he agreed..and told me that we should break up. I think he checked out few months back.

 

I really tried to stay strong during break up..i went nc since beginning..tho I saw him often during first months because we lived near and have mutual friends...and it was so hard and awkward..i saw the guilt all round him. He was acting weird and confused..like he don’t know what he want..it was really hard.

 

Thing is..i had hope..i wanted him back and I tought maybe we will get back together and that kept me going forward..but since I heard he is with someone else..everything just died in me.

The hope died…and now im just depressed..i see nothing at all..i see no future. I neglected my job ..my hobbys ..people, family…im just stuck in constant pain and I cant get rid of it.

 

Is this how acceptance feels..is this my start of letting go..or im just on my way deeper into black hole.

 

I feel so lost..and still miss him..and im thorn with guilt cuz all of the things I did wrong during relationship..and I had my share..same as him.

And the memorys from our time together just keep coming into my head and I cant escape them…

[SweetGirl28]

I'm sorry :( It always hurts to learn of an ex moving on. Especially when they return to a previous ex.

You did the right thing if you werent progressing. You shouldn't sacrifice your life and goals waiting for someone else

to catch up to the point you're at, especially seven years into the relationship. No relationship is without faults caused by both people, so don't be so hard on yourself. It does sound like he checked out a while before the relationship ended. Having been in the friend zone after gave you false hope, now you realize you have to let go. It's like the breakup is happening all over again.

 

Try to keep busy, reconnect with friends and family you have neglected, and rebuild your life. You had life before him.

There's more to come for you, it just isn't with him. Healing hurts! But it's necessary and unavoidable if you want to be happy again. You're going to miss him. Focus on the bad parts and realize he wasn't right for you anymore.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. Did you live together? It sounds like you precipitated the breakup because you wanted more commitment, marriage, kids? That would not have changed, so you did the right thing setting yourself free. Stay no contact and block and delete him from all messaging and social media. Don't keep tabs on him or wonder what "could have been", because in seven years it never happened.

Its been 7 months since break up..after 7 years. He just moved to another town. We broke it off because the relationship wasn’t moving forward..i started the big talk..and told him I cant do it any more like this and I want things to change or we just part ways..he agreed..and told me that we should break up.

[Yvi]

When we started we both got out of bad break ups..he divorced..i got out of LTR..we met like a year after those..and we just took it slow.

We didn’t live together officialy cuz situation on both sides was complicated ( I wont go into details cuz theres to much to write) but we spent most of our time together.

 

When he asked me to move in together and to move to another town I couldn’t cuz of my job and family situation I had at that time… for us both those few years was bad phase in life and situation we had no real control of. We talked about future but always waiting for a better time.

 

At the end when all resolved it was obviously to late. And there is where my guilt is..maybe I could find the solution if I tried harder.

He is now at better place in life..with new person..im in better place but without him:/

[GoodGumbo]

Some people cannot be alone. That's the long and short of it. Men seem to more easily find someone to fill the void. I don't think he has found the love of his life by any means, he is just comfortable with her. The same issues will come up with them and, even if they don't, you are now free to find the love if your life. Do it right this time, make a plan and date smart with a firm idea if what you need in a person to keep you in live during the long stretch! Remember that in the darkness! Make "it's MY opportunity" your mantra!

[SweetGirl28]

Some people cannot be alone. That's the long and short of it. Men seem to more easily find someone to fill the void. I don't think he has found the love of his life by any means, he is just comfortable with her. The same issues will come up with them and, even if they don't, you are now free to find the love if your life. Do it right this time, make a plan and date smart with a firm idea if what you need in a person to keep you in live during the long stretch! Remember that in the darkness! Make "it's MY opportunity" your mantra!

 

This is so very true. Most men tend to move on easier to fill the void where we females tend to wallow in our hurt and heal because if we don't we end up feeling another heartbreak. Like me, I tried dating right away and I felt so bad because I wasn't connecting and I set myself back. I still haven't found a strong connection eight months later, so I'm alone. Looking but alone. Looking for strictly fwb actually lol so that's even harder because I'm really picky on who I lay down with.

 

And returning to an ex, there is comfort there. It's known. Familiar territory. Doesn't mean they will last. She might just be his new woman until he heals himself and then he might move on from her again too.

[Yvi]

So he came today to bring me a birthday gift..and totally confused me because I really didn’t expect that.. I think he feels quilty or that he owe me something..i don’t know know.

Now I feel stupid..i took the gift and said thank you..we didn’t talk much ..it felt weird and I just said I have to go and left.

Now I don’t know what to do with it..do I keep it, go back to nc and live my life, should I return it and say I don’t want his friendship atm….or I just tell him to take that money and go buy new gf gifts-.-

And the last one I would soo want to tell him with a punch in the face..but I wont of course beacause thats just not me.

So what should I do?

 

I started to feel ok..now he just messed me up again...

[SweetGirl28]

So he came today to bring me a birthday gift..and totally confused me because I really didn’t expect that.. I think he feels quilty or that he owe me something..i don’t know know.

Now I feel stupid..i took the gift and said thank you..we didn’t talk much ..it felt weird and I just said I have to go and left.

Now I don’t know what to do with it..do I keep it, go back to nc and live my life, should I return it and say I don’t want his friendship atm….or I just tell him to take that money and go buy new gf gifts-.-

And the last one I would soo want to tell him with a punch in the face..but I wont of course beacause thats just not me.

So what should I do?

 

I started to feel ok..now he just messed me up again...

 

Maintain your dignity and composure. You accepted it, try to put it behind you now.

Be silent. Keep it. You deserve it, whatever it is lol. Nothing drives a man more insane than silence.

It's your gift to yourself.

[Yvi]

Thing is..its an expensive gift..everyone telling me to keep it and avoid the drama and i will probably do that..but i just dont feel good bout it...

And dont know what his motives are...he just made me think about everything all over again and its so frustrating.

[Wiseman2]

Did he get it before you broke up?

Thing is..its an expensive gift..everyone telling me to keep it and avoid the drama and i will probably do that..but i just dont feel good bout it...

And dont know what his motives are...he just made me think about everything all over again and its so frustrating.

[SweetGirl28]

Thing is..its an expensive gift..everyone telling me to keep it and avoid the drama and i will probably do that..but i just dont feel good bout it...

And dont know what his motives are...he just made me think about everything all over again and its so frustrating.

 

Sell it on eBay! I'm kidding. Keep it, don't feel guilty. A gift is a gift.

[Yvi]

No we broke up moths ago

[Wiseman2]

You need to delete and block him. He's with someone else now.

No we broke up moths ago

[Yvi]

You need to delete and block him. He's with someone else now.

 

Im not in contact with him for months..he showed up at my work place. I'm trying to move on..and this not helping

[Wiseman2]

That's creepy. Why is he doing that?

Im not in contact with him for months..he showed up at my work place.

[Yvi]

That's creepy. Why is he doing that?

 

Wish i knew that..my guess its out of quilt...or something like that

[Wiseman2]

It his new relationship shaky? It seems he may be looking for a backup and wants to butter you up/keep you on the radar.

Wish i knew that..my guess its out of quilt...or something like that

[Yvi]

It his new relationship shaky? It seems he may be looking for a backup and wants to butter you up/keep you on the radar.

 

I don’t know anything about his relationship..i didn’t ask cuz I don’t really want to know. It would just cause more pain I want to avoid. And I know he don’t want me to know about her..but people talk so I found out from mutual friend.

I doubt he keeping me on the radar..we went nc almost from the beginning expect few times we heard each other about things non related to relationship..and him wishing me happy birthday.

 

I really don’t know what is in his head..i know he had hard time after break up..and I know he felt bad for hurting me..so I guess he still have a problem with guilt.

I even feel the need to tell him he don’t have to feel quilty..whats done is done..we both messed up the relationship. I don’t think I could ever go back anyway after all that happened.

But maybe its better to stay nc:..

[Wiseman2]

No body shows up at an ex's work place months later with a gift if their current relationship is stellar. Or out of guilt.

[SweetGirl28]

No body shows up at an ex's work place months later with a gift if their current relationship is stellar. Or out of guilt.

 

I usually agree with you, but I don't see it as him feeling guilty.

I do however see he's keeping her buttered up for back up :)

[Wiseman2]

That's what I meant. It's not guilt and he's setting the table for something else.

I usually agree with you, but I don't see it as him feeling guilty. I do however see he's keeping her buttered up for back up :)

[SweetGirl28]

That's what I meant. It's not guilt and he's setting the table for something else.

 

Applause! Hit the nail smack on the head!

I can't give you a rep cuz it's telling me I need to spread my luv around before giving you more! :)