2 Weeks after breakup

[Chriscal23]

Hi,

 

As most people in this forum know coping through a breakup really sucks. As the title mentions, I’ve recently experienced a breakup about 2 weeks ago.

 

My girlfriend initiated the breakup and it honestly left me confused. We had problems but it just hit me unexpectedly. Just 2 weeks ago we were going out and throughout the day we got into mini arguments. Right before the night hit she hit me with the words that no person likes to hear.

 

We discussed and eventually she transitioned into the breakup. We talked and cried and I was left confused. I knew there was nothing I could say to convince her yet I didn’t accept the breakup. She sounded pessimistic about us surviving a long distance relationship after she graduated, and even admitted that her love for move diminished.

 

Fast forward we talked on an off , with me initiating 90% of the text messages.

 

The first week we talked more but eventually I gave her space. I caved in this past weekend and she actually ignored my call. I was confused since I never imaged she’d ignore my call.

 

Simply because I didn’t overly beg nor invaded her space like a mad man. Still, I regret breaking no contact and I have to face the fact that I can’t speak to her unless she initiates contact. Even then, I’m not sure if I’ll let my resentment get the best of me.

 

There’s more dynamic to this breakup but it’s challenging to explain this in a forum.

 

Here’s where I stand. I firmly believe we had a strong connection. Our chemistry was surreal. We had similar childhoods, interests, and we were very much in a good mood together.

 

These past 2 months have been rough. Probably cause of her school work piling up and graduating coming around the corner. I also questioned our next steps after graduation since this was going to come eventually.

 

Our relationship wasn’t perfect. I recpgmize her defects and for some reason don’t consider them an a drastic issue. I’m not stating that all her defects are acceptable but communication is key.

 

Love has its ups and downs. There are a million people in this world I know. But is it really necessary to meet thousands before you settle?

 

I’m 26 and she’s 22 and we’ve been together for 2 years.

 

I recognize I also had my issues , ones that I’m legit working on for myself to be a better person. I stand here feeling happier yet sad that I don’t have my ex anymore.

 

When do you give up on someone?

 

I’m moving on, yet I feel like she’ll always be part of my life somehow. I don’t think I’ll want her as a friend yet Im hurt knowing that I can’t see her currently.

 

She’s leaving out of state in May and it tears me apart knowing I can’t see her on her last few weeks.

 

Your feedback would be appreciated.

 

Thank you

[Lauren0020]

give it some time ( I should be taking my own advice) give her space, she might come back around or reach out. Would you want a long distance relationship with her? I think before she leaves you should make at least 1 more attempt to speak to her, you all have history so don't feel guilty or beat yourself up if you reach out or break no contact.

[Chriscal23]

@Lauren0020 thanks for responding.

 

I agree. I’ll give her space.

 

To answer your question about accepting the long distance relationship, I actually find it ironic.

 

Here’s why...

 

In the past I’d bring up our future together wanting to just have an idea how we’ll handle the long distance. In return this contributed to our breakup to an extent.

 

The thing is I’ve also realized that I no longer want to live in my current state. So I’ll be moving in the same state as her. I’m not doing it for her though. I’ve always wanted to move back since I was younger. I’m planing to move within a year or two at max. I’ll be honest however that this does give me some comfort as i’ll be closer to my ex.

 

Im past the point of denial. I accept the breakup and feel that because of this I’m on a new level. I’m excited for the future and at the same time sad I’m letting someone so special to me go.

 

I don’t think I’ll ever be completely over her. I’ll always low key want her in my life as that special someone. I won’t be a stalker but always feel like I’ll somehow think about her even if I meet someone new.

 

In my past breakups I’d feel pain but know that it was for the best. This time i feel like pain and accept the breakup. Except I can’t find a reason good enough to not want to have this person I my life. I know I made her happy also.

 

With all the advice going on I’m so confused to what to do. Except , just giver her space and keep working on myself. Meanwhile, as I’m happy in several occasions I know deep down I’m craving to be happy with her.

 

Over dramatic ? Maybe

[SweetGirl28]

Sorry you're hurting :( but all you can do is accept her decision and not contact her.

You give up on someone when they give up on you, which is what she's done.

Don't chase after anyone who lets you go. It looks needy and it makes them feel you're invading their space.

She might reach out to you prior to leaving.

[bluecastle]

Sorry you're going through this, but it sounds like you've got the right headspace. This is the time where you look deep in yourself, confront where you'd like to do better, and go about making those changes. Maybe, at first, you'll feel like you're doing them for her—that hope and longing lingering. But it's a win-win, because you'll be better anyway, and, believe it or not, you'll find your current feelings fading.

 

Some people we never quite get over, it's true. But in time we see that they were perfect for one phase of our lives, and ultimately a stepping stone to the next.

 

As for now—really, truly, just do you. Give her space. Two weeks feels like an eternity right now, but it's 10 seconds. You both are going to be battling waves of contradictory feelings for a bit: relief, sadness, loneliness, regret, longing—the whole whirl. Let them come and go, and perhaps reach out once they've settled.

[mdot777]

This was really nice to read. I am younger (2nd year college student here) but this sounds like a situation that could have happened to me