Pleasehelp14 Posted February 27, 2018 Share Posted February 27, 2018 Hi, I recently broke up with my gf about a month ago, I was living with her in a flat for a good 8/10 months. She is an awesome girl who was amazing to me and was very caring at all times. In this time I was taking medication for my ocd, which I believed numbed a lot of my feelings and emotions in general towards her. But I always knew we had a great connection. During our time together we did have some ups and downs and plenty of arguments. Over the Christmas period was the worst and we had a very bad 3 week patch. In this time I ended up messaging my friend about a girl who kept popping up on my radar, long story short I said things to my friend I shouldn’t of like how lovely she looked or if she liked me etc... before this tho there were many other things i didn’t do in the relationship. For example I took her for granted and didn’t treat her properly at all. I now know this. I was on medication for ocd as I have it quite bad and she knew my head inside out, she was amazing at helping me through my thoughts when things got tough and is the only person who iv ever opened up to properly about my ocd. She really was amazing, which I respect her heaps for. But as I was taking medication and smoking a lot of pot, my emotions and feelings were numb and I stupidly just didn’t see how I was acting towards her and how I was just pushing her further and further away. Eventually she went down my phone and found these messages to my friend about this girl which I had totally forgot about. Which basically was the final straw for her. I’m now back at home and missing her deeply. Roughy 10 weeks ago I came off my medication and have now completely stopped smoking pot. So iv basically had all my emotions and feelings come rushing back to me and I finally feel human again after rough 6-8 years of being on meds. My ocd is still there but I’m managing.....just. Iv tried to tell her that because of these meds I was on they numbed all my real feelings for her and Iv now realised that I love this girl to bits more then anyone else iv ever been with. I now realise how much of a head I had been through the relationship and how stupid I was not to see it but again the mediation was blocking these feelings. She’s told me iv pushed her away for the last 6 months and her finding that on my phone was the last straw. Now 2 weeks later she goes out and gets with this guy I had a feeling she liked, but denies And tells me she just wants to be single. I really don’t believe this and think she’s genuinely seeing this guy, as I know she doesnt like being by herself. Since we broke I have changed massively, I feel great for not being on medication, and pot can do one,I never want to touch that stuff again. I’m busier at work, earning more money. My ocd is actually better also. It’s like this break up was needed to happen to sort my life out. I’m basically becoming the person she wanted this whole time in the relationship! Now I really do love this girl and honestly believe I’f I’d had another chance we would be stronger then ever, like amazing!! I now see her in my future I want to make up for the 6 months of being a bf. Being off these tablets have really made me realise what I want. Which is her. But she’s not buying it and has basically said her feelings have changed etc. She does believe the tablets played a part tho. But she doesn’t no how iv changed I guess. Iv got a skiing holiday next week with some friends which I’m hoping will really clear my mind. I’m worried I’m gonna be feeling pants tho. Do you think I have any chance of getting her back? I mean it has been just under a month so i guess it’s not enough time for her emotions to settle with me? We have spoke a little and I’m acting as if everything is ok, but really I’m sad and want this girl back. It makes it incredibly harder keeping contact aswell, as It just prolonges the pain but if I loose that I keep thinking she will move on and forget me. She has said shed always be here for me tho, which I find confusing.... What do you suggest my next step Is? Do I leave her be for a few more weeks? Is she going to end up with this guy? Shall I try and move on? Thanks USA Link to comment
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