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I know I'm grieving


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But I'm not contacting him anymore mainly because I feel it's pointless. He stated his truth and I can't force a relationship. I'm sick for the first time in years which I know is related to the break up. I'm struggling and wishing and hoping I'm not going to, but I know in my heart of hearts that we aren't right for each other. It doesn't change how I feel about him though, I really did love him. Still do. Even God prevented me from seeing him, my car was broken down for a week just found out it's repaired today. It's just so sad to me that even though we both love each other we can't make it work. I always thought love was worth fighting for. I never really had it. I'm so sad. I keep wishing my life would end because I can't believe I have to keep living this awfulness. At least this time I'm mentally stable still, but physically it hit me like a ton of bricks. Than I wonder how he's doing, he was depressed without treatment. It's been 3 days of NC, every day is a struggle for me not to reach out to him. I just keep telling myself it's really over but it doesn't feel over.

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I so feel you. I'm also on day three of NC and tell myself that it's really over even though it doesn't feel that way.


You mentioned God, so I'll share that I have faith that God has something even better in store for me and that helps keep me going. We'll both get through this one day at a time, or even one hour at a time.

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