Told guy 2 years ago I wanted to be platonic...realized I like him- Help?

[DaisyMayPorter]

Ultimately after some good times, I think this is the path we're going down. He called me out of the blue a few weeks ago to tell me he has a girlfriend, but wants us to stay friends. I don't think that's in either of our best interests, so best to just say goodbye and appreciate the memories. Thank you for this advice.

 

What happened between then and now?

[Wiseman2]

Good move. Do not attempt friendship or any variation of that. It has and would continue to hold you back from finding local appropriate men to date. Now you can break free and delete and block him and move forward.

He called me out of the blue a few weeks ago to tell me he has a girlfriend, but wants us to stay friends.I don't think that's in either of our best interests, so best to just say goodbye

[WonderfulLife]

What happened between then and now?

 

I'm not sure I know. He had made an effort to take me out on actual dates and call them such, and it felt like we were giving it a chance as time permitted. I have also been interviewing for jobs in the local metropolis as it's where I can see growth for my career. The conversation re his girlfriend was weird, in that he called in the middle of the night, and said that this girlfriend was unexpected. I think she overheard the conversation because apparently that prompted a breakup between them, but he decided he wanted to try and smooth things over with me instead of chasing after her at that time (paraphrasing his words), and he wanted us to stay friends.

 

Good move. Do not attempt friendship or any variation of that. It has and would continue to hold you back from finding local appropriate men to date. Now you can break free and delete and block him and move forward.

 

Men are so strange with suggesting friendship-he really tried to sell the idea, emphasizing how great it was that we could talk about career stuff etc.

[DaisyMayPorter]

I'm not sure I know. He had made an effort to take me out on actual dates and call them such, and it felt like we were giving it a chance as time permitted. I have also been interviewing for jobs in the local metropolis as it's where I can see growth for my career. The conversation re his girlfriend was weird, in that he called in the middle of the night, and said that this girlfriend was unexpected. I think she overheard the conversation because apparently that prompted a breakup between them, but he decided he wanted to try and smooth things over with me instead of chasing after her at that time (paraphrasing his words), and he wanted us to stay friends.

 

He sounds confused. Best to stay away for now so you can start fresh with someone new and concentrate on your career.

[figureitout23]

I'm not sure I know. He had made an effort to take me out on actual dates and call them such, and it felt like we were giving it a chance as time permitted. I have also been interviewing for jobs in the local metropolis as it's where I can see growth for my career. The conversation re his girlfriend was weird, in that he called in the middle of the night, and said that this girlfriend was unexpected. I think she overheard the conversation because apparently that prompted a breakup between them, but he decided he wanted to try and smooth things over with me instead of chasing after her at that time (paraphrasing his words), and he wanted us to stay friends.

 

 

 

Men are so strange with suggesting friendship-he really tried to sell the idea, emphasizing how great it was that we could talk about career stuff etc.

 

Im not trying to be an a** and Im not trying to have a 'told ta so' moment because Ive been there. Thats why I said what I said, Ive been there.

 

from the story you just told it doesn't really sound like you messed things up. Sounds like he was perfectly ok with the status quo and may even be ' playing the role' you know 'you're so confusing' to let himself off the hook. From what I read you two started off as sexual and he never really pursurd a relationship, again sounds like he was content with the status quo. No big loss at least you can walk away knowing where he stands.

 

He allowed you to convince yourself of all these things because it worked to his advantage. Im not saying hes a bad or manipulative guy, cause I dont have enough info to come to that conclusion, he was simply looking out for himself, and maybe cheating? I dont know, my point is, you have to start looking our for yourself too. If a guy is being wishy washy dont blame yourself, if youre being wishy washy you can own it without taking full responsibility.

[DaisyMayPorter]

and said that this girlfriend was unexpected.

 

Unexpected? Did she just fall into his lap?

[katrina1980]

 

Men are so strange with suggesting friendship-he really tried to sell the idea, emphasizing how great it was that we could talk about career stuff etc.

 

Of course he wants to maintain the friendship, that way he gets to have your emotional support while dating and screwing another chick.

 

That's a great deal for him, but what about you? What do you get?

 

You get a guy who thinks you're not good enough to date, but still gets to vomit all his emotional garbage on you.

 

I can't speak for you, but for me NO THANK YOU!!

 

Think better of yourself Wonder, set higher standards of yourself, what he's offering you now, this "friendship" is the bottom of the barrel as far as I'm concerned.