Help with understanding an ex??

[Ewing11]

So my ex and I broke up 90 days ago. I had been thinking about breaking up, but she is the one who did it. Initially, I wasnÂ’t really hurt, I played it calm and cool told her it was fine and that I still cared about her. Few weeks later, I realized what she meant to me as we dated 8 months. The first 7 of our relationship was bliss, the last one we just were both so busy and lost the spark and desire.

 

I realized I wanted her back, and space was the best thing for us. Deep down I felt that space rejuvenated my feelings and I thought hers too.

 

I texted her a happy birthday and she texted me a merry Christmas. No contact for two an a half months after that, other than her tweeting some sad things about how she missed me. Fast forward a week and a half ago, she saw my friend and told him she still misses me and told him to say she says hi.

 

That weekend, I saw her out and we chatted and I gave her a hug. She texted me that night, a few hours later about something that reminded me of her.

 

 

If youÂ’re still reading this thank u.

Ive tried to get over it but IÂ’ve been really depressed.

I responded to Her like every few hours and we had a normal convo about our day. Then I didnÂ’t respond to her for 2 days, and I asked her why she texted me out of the blue. She said something along the lines of I just wanted to tell you about this thing that reminded me of you. We chatted some more and than BOOM.

 

No response for 2 and a half days

After she was texting me within minutes

What do I do, lol

I really want her back

She tends to be on the shyer side, but she also has a lot of pride, I really feel she wouldnÂ’t contact me for no reason

 

Any help would be appreciated

Thank u

[Hollyj]

You should not be communicating unless she wants to get back together. Ask her. If she does not, tell her you must go NC.

 

You are simply making this more difficult for yourself. You cannot be friends, or send occasional texts while there are feelings.

[kbbcoop77]

She broke up with you. She has to be the one to suggest reconciliation. Everything else is mindless chatter that drives you crazy. You’re better off cutting her off and not responding to her if it’s just to talk, you’re making the breakup easy for her as she has you as a friendly ear to bend. That helps her but fills you with false hope. It’s a hamster wheel you need to step off of.

[SweetGirl28]

It's normal to miss an ex, and people get vulnerable and tell them.

You want her back, but what does she want? I'd straight up ask her, so there's no confusion.

But you need to be certain whatever ended the relationship won't be a factor again should she want to reconcile.

Losing the spark so early on was not a good sign for a lasting relationship. Don't try to go back just because you miss her, because that won't keep you together. That's why it's good to let time pass and be apart doing your own thing.

If those feelings still remain after, then it's worth a shot. But you have to be able to distinguish between feeling lonely ,

bored, or needy, vs really being whole within yourself and truly missing what you had. And in the first stages of a breakup it's too hard to know. Look at actions because words are easy to say.