Torn

[Wolverineluke]

Long story short. My best friend I met through work, that moved here from another state, told me she’s in love with me. We have matching personalities, she’s very good looking, gets along wonderfully with my friends and family, athletic, smart, and funny. We’ve traveled around the state and have done a million things together. For the last couple months we have been having fun nights of sleeping together and just being close.

 

The reason I am posting here is she is 6 years older than me (I’m 24), has an 11 year old daughter, and is wanting to stop all of the ‘sleeping together’ stuff because it hurts her (to which I obliged as I don’t want to hurt her).

 

After some thinking, I realized I too have developed feelings for her. I’m torn, however. If I were to ask her out, I know she would say yes and we may end up having a wonderful life together. On the other hand, I’m looking for someone more around my age and without children as I want to travel, etc.

 

I need some help in deciding what to do. What are your thoughts?

[Keyman]

By 'travel' do you refer to being able to get working visa due to be under 30/35? Or just simply being a long term tourist?

 

The difference is that just being a tourist, you could do that with her once her child has grown up and moved out, thus you could have the relationship and travel later.

 

Or, you can say goodbye to her now, and it would be goodbye, go do your travelling and see where she is in a few years when it is all out of your system.

[DaisyMayPorter]

You can go on some trips without her and then some more kid-friendly trips with her and her daughter. And maybe she has family that could watch her daughter every once in awhile for a couple days. I have a daughter and I would be so disappointed if the guy I was perfect for chose not to be with me because I had a kid and it would be hard to travel. If she is so perfect for you, you need to go for it now! What if she’s not available in a few years?

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately she's a single mom with responsibilities to her child which should come first. She's wise to end things. She can't be as free and easy, as you can so it's best to decide whether you want to bother staying or date women who are as casual and unencumbered as you. It's been a couple months of casual sex, so just move on unless you can handle the friendzone.

For the last couple months we have been having fun nights of sleeping together. has an 11 year old daughter, and is wanting to stop all of the ‘sleeping together’ stuff because it hurts her