Having a hard time with this

[Traceee]

When my ex dumped me he told me he doesn't want to live in the city after he graduates and would feel horrible if I moved cities for him like he did for his ex and it was horrible and was all alone when it didn't work out and doesn't want that to happen to me although a couple months prior he was all about it. Anyways he told me he loved me and am the only person he cares about as he was crying. I tried to understand and bargain almost but he wasn't budging he didn't even want to try no matter what I said. I asked him if he loved me and he said yes and that he thought it would be better if we ended it now rather than things keep getting better and it'll be harder when he moves. After I'm balling my eyes out he is consoling and holding me telling me I'm going to be okay. Then he says let's go eat! Who says that?? I said does it look like I want to eat right now? So i walk out of his house and he follows me and hugs me kisses me on my head and says please don't hate me. At this point I tell him I can't because I believed his excuse. Well he insists on having dinner a week later after he gets back from thanksgiving break with his family. So we go to this dinner and I asked him if it was truly the reason why he wanted to end things and he says yes absolutely. At this point I'm still believing him and I got super emotional and let it all out and be vulnerable. I told him no one ever made me feel so loved before. I asked him did I not make you happy anymore etc etc and he said I absolutely did make him happy. He said he meant everything he said to me in regards to marriage, kids and a future but couldn't go do it. He then told me he has no interest in dating anyone for awhile and told me I'm only the second person he's ever loved and that he's really worried about me. He said he wants me to find something that makes me happy etc etc. it felt like he was pittying me? He called me stubborn and I told him don't make it seem like you were all of my happiness I said you just hurt me on another level. Well if some of you have seen my previous threads he got into a new relationship with someone I have no idea who she is or where she came from and he blocked me on most social medias and completely discarded me after saying he wanted me in his life. It has been hard for me that I let it all out and was that vulnerable and told him everything about how I feel and it didn't mean jack to him! It feels like he did this to ease his guilt and not because he cared or loved me. It makes me upset that I was nothing but honest and he lied to my face multiple times.

 

We were together nearly six months and he did love bomb me and move the relationship very fast and that is a lesson I have learned that that is a serious red flag with someone declaring their feelings like that so early. Also he was married before me and divorced 3-4 months prior to meeting me which I didn't know he was divorced. Everything was great until the last two weeks where he distanced himself and even a few times made some rude comments then he just did this 180 on me.

 

I'm upset with myself in a way for being that open with my feelings when it feels like he just did these things to ease his own guilt or so he didn't look like the bad guy? I know if he really did love me he wouldn't have left but to make it seem like he genuinely cared and would always be there for me to just completely discarding and forgetting about me makes me feel horrible

[Bru]

There are always excuses when someone wants to dump you in a gentle manner. He already is looking somewhere else. You never had a chance to discuss and make a decision together where your direction is heading as a couple, he already did that on his own. A person like this is selfish, abusive and inconsiderate of peoples feelings but tries to hide it with smooth talking. Stay away from him block him on social media and focus on yourself. Bring back the person you were before he came along, its difficult but possible. I am also doing that since my ex wife gave me lie after lie but at the end she was cheating.

 

You are not to blame, he will regret it one day and dont let him back into your life.

[Traceee]

It's crazy how telling someone a lie that you are moving away in X amount of months is what he came up with. He started his job here I found out the other day so that's another lie. I suspect he was at least looking or emotionally cheating on me, could have actually physically cheated on me I'm not sure unfortunately. I don't think he was sincere our entire relationship and this was the cherry on top of the cake to prove it. It was so easy for him to walk out of my life and discard me after like you said trying to smooth talk me. I don't get how someone is capable of all of that including the insincerity about his so called love for me and wanting a future.

 

I want to get that person back! It's been a struggle and especially days like today, Valentine's Day, make it a little harder. I can get there but this still haunts me I did block him on the rest of social media as well.