Canon Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 My wife and I have been married for almost 2 years and I have been faithful and supportive and loving 100%. But we have a history of on again/off again dating over the span of 10 years. About a year before we were married and 6 months before we were engaged, we were dating and another woman was interested in me and went as far as to send me very revealing photos in a facebook message. I responded but we never took it beyond that and I mostly was dismissive as I had zero interest in a physical or emotional relationship and it ended there. Two years later and over a year into my marriage, the other woman looks up my wife and messages her the entire conversation (while we were at a hotel celebrating her birthday, no less). She was understandably devastated and has struggled with trusting me since then. But we've been working on it. She knows my passwords, we share our locations automatically on iPhone, I tell her who I'm with and how long I'll be there. It's still a struggle but we manage. But two nights ago while on Instagram, a former colleague from long ago shared a memory from a Super Bowl that I happened to have attended. I commented that I had, she responded "prove it!" so I shared a photo of myself and my buddy at the game from 10 years ago. If it had been on facebook it would have been in the comments for all the public to see but since Instagram doesn't work that way, I sent it via Direct Message with the quote "proof". She responded "it looks photoshopped! haha jk". That was the extent of the conversation but the responses popped up while my wife and I were looking at my instagram together for ideas for a project we are working on together and she instantly presumed the worst and two days later she is still furious and threatening to leave and how heartbroken she is that I'm messaging other women. I can genuinely say that there is less than zero attraction to this woman and I definitely had no intentions of any kind whatsoever and didn't anticipate that kind of reaction. But I can also see from her perspective, any private message with anyone who isn't a relative can be suspicious, especially with our history. The bottom line, I know I can eliminate interaction with all females who aren't related to me and I know I can stop giving her reasons to be suspicious. But does trust every really come back or are we doomed to fail? I love my wife more than anything and we just found out we are pregnant with our second child. I just want her to be happy but I've never seen her more hurt in my life. Link to comment
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