My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me, but I don’t know if that is what she really wants

[Relevance lost]

hi all!

 

I am a deep emotional wreck now, because my girlfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me, so sudden.. I already suffer from severe depression and anxiety, and I do counselling and take anti-depressants to get better, but I don’t think I can move on, without her..

 

Before walking into my last exam Monday, my girlfriend texted me saying “good luck, I love you, you got this”. However, after my last exam had finished and I checked my message, she said “im so lost, I don’t know what’s happening” - I asked her if she needed me, and she said “yes” and that we had to talk.

 

We live in two different cities, and we had planned a while back, that as soon as I finished my exam, I should come to her and spend the following days together. however, as I could hear she needed me, I quickly packing my suitcase and everything, and then went with the train to her city (an hour away from me). However, when I came out of the station, I could see something was wrong - she didn’t want to kiss me or hold my hand, and so she said “let’s go to my flat and talk”. When we got to the flat, she said, crying, that she’s been thinking it through, and that she was sorry but she had to end it with us, and I had to leave now. I cried and cried, and she hugged me before leaving her flat, telling me “I’m sorry, I love you and I always will, and no one can replace you, I just can’t be with you anymore”.. I told her that I didn’t understand, why so sudden, and that I must’ve done something wrong - she told me that I haven’t, that I am the greatest guy, and the best boyfriend anyone could ask for, but she said that she’s been emotionally drained because of ”supporting me” too much (what she meant by that, is that I recently got a severe depression and anxiety, and that she couldn’t really cope with it anymore, that it had become a burden for her, despite telling me she was happy and in love, when I asked how she was doing), and that I texted her too much while we weren’t seeing each other (I texted her once and in a while throughout the day, and talked with her on the phone every evening, and I didn’t think it was a problem, I thought it was normal for such a long-lasting relationship), and I just didn’t understand this, I thought all was okay.. I have never cheated on her, or done her harm, I’ve tried to be the best I could be, for myself, and her, and I thought she appreciated it and loves me for it, but this sudden break-up questions everything I thought about myself, and us..

 

I cried for hours, in the train back to my city, and cried all night - I couldn’t sleep, because the thought of her not being with me haunted me. Then in the middle of the night (on Monday, 2 days ago), she texts me saying she’s confused and she’s feeling she’s regretting her choice, and she needs to see me again, because she can’t live without me, and she loves me too much - so she said that Monday night, she’d come today to my city, to talk and sort it out, and I fell asleep less hurt, knowing I had a chance of winning her heart back.

Then, when I woke up tuesday morning (yesterday), she had texted me saying that she panicked last night and she was sorry, but she wouldn’t come - she wanted to “be free”, and break up anyway again..

 

I then asked her if we just could talk, with a fresh mind on things, as she had suggested to me Monday night - she replied ”I don’t want to talk” “I am not ready”. Since that, I only texted her saying that “I love you and I always will, and I’ll wait for you to be ready to talk things through”. Haven’t talked to her since then.

 

Now, I’m shattered, she broke up with me twice technically, giving me hope i between, but then crushing it again, leaving behind my shattered heart, my mental strength, and my possibility to move on..

 

Also, what confuses Me and hurts me is that her relationship status still says “in a relationship” with me, and she still has all the photos of us on her social media - she also yesterday posted a selfie on Instagram, wearing a necklace I gave to her only a couple of days before this break-up. I don’t know what It means, but I hope and pray that she still Loves me and wants me, but just need some time to be herself. Whenever i see her online, i hope that she is Gonna text me that she wants me back, but for every hour that passes with no texts coming in, I begin to realise that I no longer can be in her life.. I want to text or call her so bad, telling her how much I L her and how much I want her back in my life, but she wanted space, so I have to respect that..

 

I promised her space and No contact, and I’ll do that, but she seems okay, going to university, hanging out with friends and she has even planned 2 nights out in the coming days, where she and her female friends are sleeping over at some guys houses - it doesn’t seem that this has affected her at all, and she has just moved on, without anything, but I just done believe it, because I know and she has showed how much she loves me and how much i mean to her..

 

I am lost for words, confused, and I am refusing to believe she’s going through with it - my depression has gotten worse, and I find it a struggle just to get out of bed and go to the bathroom - I haven’t been able to eat for almost 48 hours, i am just so devastated from this loss, and I don’t know how or if I can move on, or if I have the chance of getting her back, and how..

 

I am normally an emotionally strong man, but this has shattered me, and I cry constantly and uncontrollably, having only her on my mind.. what can I do? I love her to bits and I want her back, but I don’t know how else than the No contact, yet I’m just afraid that as days pass, she’d just move on, instead of seeing that she needs me..

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening for you. It sounds like she was honest and you are doing the right things giving her space and no contact. Take care of yourself.

she said that she’s been emotionally drained because of ”supporting me” too much (what she meant by that, is that I recently got a severe depression and anxiety, and that she couldn’t really cope with it anymore, that it had become a burden for her, despite telling me she was happy and in love, when I asked how she was doing), and that I texted her too much while we weren’t seeing each other

[IIDAN]

I feel you my guy, I have a full post about my situation, I'm in the exact same boat.

 

It's devastating. We've messaged a bit and flirted a bit, she posted pictures with gifts I'd bought her for her birthday that's in a few weeks etc.

 

I'm currently on day 2 of no contact, she hasn't messaged me but has run into me at work. It's a massive struggle, I'm hoping she realises what she had.

 

I'm trying to give her space to "find herself" and to hang out with friends and eventually she might miss her boyfriend, that's the best thing I could think of doing, perhaps try that.

 

Good luck, honestly, I know how it feels, we had our lives planned out.

 

I wish you all the best.

[DanZee]

It can be draining dealing with someone who has depression. And I guess she just reached the end of her rope. I think she felt guilty breaking up with you, so she thought about making up with you, but then thought about it more and decided to keep to her original plan. As for her Facebook or Instagram page, she just might not have the energy to update it. Don't read more into it than there is. I'm sorry, but it's best to find this out now than a year or two from now.