Is it wrong to pursue this guy?

[archimage]

Hi everyone. I got out of my very first relationship (of 9 mos) around this time last year and it took me about 5 months to sort of get the hang on not being with my ex. Around that 5 month mark, I started talking to one of my ex's friends and I felt like we clicked as friends. We have the same sort of hobbies and share the some type of humor and for once in a very long time I wasn't kicking myself over the break-up (I didn't really have anyone to discuss my break-up with except you guys).

 

It started off as platonic but maybe two months into this friendship, something just hit me and made me wonder if this can actually evolve into something more. I remember around that time he started to invite me to these one on one hangouts, but they were never specified as "dates." The activities we did were very "datey," like watching movies together, and going to theme parks. I've been trying to break the touch barrier and he doesn't seem to mind it but he hasn't done anything that you would call "making a move."

 

It's strange because usually I would ask this person out myself but what's stopping me is the fact that he is a friend of my ex. He hasn't really asked me about how I feel about my ex now either so he seems disinterested in that aspect. However, at the same time, I find that he puts in effort to make time for me.

 

Is it worth it?

[ycmanvs]

Hi everyone. I got out of my very first relationship (of 9 mos) around this time last year and it took me about 5 months to sort of get the hang on not being with my ex. Around that 5 month mark, I started talking to one of my ex's friends and I felt like we clicked as friends. We have the same sort of hobbies and share the some type of humor and for once in a very long time I wasn't kicking myself over the break-up (I didn't really have anyone to discuss my break-up with except you guys).

 

It started off as platonic but maybe two months into this friendship, something just hit me and made me wonder if this can actually evolve into something more. I remember around that time he started to invite me to these one on one hangouts, but they were never specified as "dates." The activities we did were very "datey," like watching movies together, and going to theme parks. I've been trying to break the touch barrier and he doesn't seem to mind it but he hasn't done anything that you would call "making a move."

 

It's strange because usually I would ask this person out myself but what's stopping me is the fact that he is a friend of my ex. He hasn't really asked me about how I feel about my ex now either so he seems disinterested in that aspect. However, at the same time, I find that he puts in effort to make time for me.

 

Is it worth it?

 

Just see how he feels about dating you. Tell him you like him and see how he responds. It has been a long time since you broke up with the ex, so move on with this guy if he is interested in you too.

[Keyman]

I definitely think it is worth pursuing enough to find out if there is something more there. Do note that if a relationship blossums between you two, this will likely end their friendship as well.