I Still Love Her

[Randomguy20551]

This is a bit of a confusing situation that i had. Me and my girlfriend broke up around 5 months ago.We were with each other for a year. See we are young and i am 2 years older than her. Her parents did not like the idea of me whatsoever, when we first got into the realtionship i decided to tell her parents the truth about my age instead of lying to them .This did not go well. She was told to break up with me straight away but she didnt listen to them. As a result of this we had to hide the relationship. We always had to see her in secret behind her parents back. We tried to see each other once a week. The situation we had was difficult but we loved each other so i do not believe we let the situation bring us down. We texted each other everyday and when we did meet each other it was clear we loved each other. In our time together there was one or two arguments and they were solved immediately. I always tried to treat her the best i could given our situation. I complimented her everyday and made her feel loved she even said to me herself i was perfect for her and we were perfect for each other. Then one day a few days before our one year anniversary she told me that the lying to her parents had got all to much and couldnt take the pressure anymore. She broke up with me that day, but continued to talk to me to try to be friends. The next day i convinced her back to me. Then later that night i asked her if she was sure about everything and if she wanted to be with me. This is where it was offically over she said no she cant take the pressure. This girl was the nicest sweetest more caring soul i have ever met in my life one of the many reasons i loved her .She asked me would i wait for her i said these words " I dont really know to be honest , your the most amazing person i have ever met , i want to wait for you but 3 years is a very long time." I never meant this i wanted to wait for her but she was only 15 i didnt want her to be unhappy and have to wait for me.

 

She then said to me that she is in the "same boat" after she asked me to wait for her. She then went onto say how she was sorry it had to end like this and that i had given her the best year of her life and that she was doing this for my own good. She then blocked me from everything so i couldnt contact her. A month and a half of pain went by , i added her back to talk about everything that happened. She told me that she still liked me and thought about me everyday but she told me that she now liked someone else. I was very confused and I wanted to end it all right there so i got angry and removed her. A week went by and we never fully had a proper conversation about what happened between us. We had a conversation but mid way through i got angry and with me overthinking everything that happened i accused her of stuff like leaving me for somebody else and just covering it up .This got her angry aswell and kept rubbing in the fact that she was most likely going to have a new boyfriend in a week or so. I was so heart torn i was so angry it felt like the past year had meant nothing to her. She threw it all away because of her parents. I sound very selfish but i believed that she loved me like she said she did. At the end of the month i find out she had a new boyfriend and the pain only worsens . I believe she has been with him a month and a half now. I dont go to school with her so i dont know what the situation is. I dont know wether to walk away or keep trying because ive asked her back out before and she said it was never gonna happen again because of her parents. She reassured me that i was not of fault and that she really did love me and she would still be with me to this day if it was not because of her friends. There is another twist in this story though as i go to school with her basketball teammate . Her teammate told me that she had left me for somebody else. (This girl and my ex really did not like each other btw and this girl is known as a stirring ) .The reason i found out that my ex liked somebody new is because i said all of this to her. She said she liked somebody new but she would have no problem telling me that she had a new boyfriend. Since she has had a new boyfriend i talked to her and she said to me she used to like me but doesnt care about me anymore. My heart has been sore ever since. Ever since she broke up with me its been nothing but pain and the pain seems to be getting worse each day.

 

I love her to pieces but i dont know if shes in a rebound relationship and is just trying to forget about me. I want her back so bad but i dont want to go around ruining her happiness . Please somebody give me advice because the pain is only getting worse and its been 5 months since she broke up with me

[DanZee]

Look, the simplest answer is that the relationship cannot be rekindled at this time and you need to move on. Find another girl to date. You're only embarrassing yourself by contacting with her. In 3 years, who knows? But right now, date other girls and enjoy school time because when you graduate, it will be a lot more difficult to find new friends.

[Randomguy20551]

Thank you for replying. I dont keep contact with her at all anymore i try to move on but its hard

[DanZee]

On ENA, we always advise people to go total No Contact, block the other person on social media and delete their number. Your ex girlfriend was pressured by her parents to stop seeing you and there's an old expression that when you marry a girl, you marry her family. In this case, you were married, but her parents frowned on your relationship and you didn't have a chance.

 

You just have to accept this and move along. She has another boyfriend now indicating that she's moved on. You need to get over her by making yourself busy, walking and getting exercise, hanging out with friends and family, devoting yourself to a hobby or your studies, and maybe even going out on a date or two. It's difficult to get over a relationship, especially one that had a bit of drama and secrecy to it, but you can find another girl.

[MissCanuck]

Unfortunately, at your respective ages, this is normal. It's not fun for the dumpee, but it's part of growing up and learning about love and relationships.

 

She is very, very young and will have more boyfriends in the years ahead. Not to sound harsh, but a teenage girl isn't someone who is going to commit to a serious relationship, particularly against her parents' wishes. Girls at that age (as I once was a 15-year-old girl!) change their minds about boys and boyfriends nearly as frequently as the wind changes direction. It's part of being a teen and learning about yourself.

 

Having said that, yes, you need to walk away. She has moved on and there is really no benefit for you to sit around and hope she comes back. Maybe she will someday, but beware she almost certainly won't stay back.