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To Be Friends or Let Go?


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A girl and I had connected on a dating app and there was an instant connection. We texted from good morning to good night. Then I found out she was in a relationship, but a poor one. I stuck around and eventually her ex broke it off and we continued to talk and would talk for hours on end. I felt like we connected on every level from the get go. But she was also very adamant from the beginning that she didn’t want a relationship because she was trying to get over her ex. I knew she was talking to other girls as well and I was okay with that. Very recently however, she has taken an interest in another girl and pretty much everything we had, she has given to her. I tried to just forget her and remove her out of my life but that was miserable. So we are trying to be friends while she sees this other girl but is still very adamant that she doesn’t want a relationship.


It came to a head the other night when we were hanging out as friends, and I had been drinking a lot. She had to get up very early but I told her I would crash on the couch until she had to get up and I would drive home. But then the said other girl had called and wanted to see her and knew I wouldn’t sober up by then so she drove me home and I paid for an uber to get her back and she could see the girl to do god knows what with her.


I tend to over think every little thing, and we never really had a chance to build a friendship in the beginning b cause we kind of just jumped into the flirting and some physical parts. She has stated that she wants me in her life and wants to be friends. Do I be patient, let her do what she needs to do and continue to build the friendship or do I just cut her out and try to let her go?

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You cut her out and let go, for your own well-being.


You can't be friends right now. You are into her, and she doesn't feel the same way about you. I doubt it felt very good to pay for her transportation to go off and see someone else, right? She might like you as a person and think you are attractive, but she evidently doesn't have deeper romantic feelings for you. I think you were her crutch while she segued out of a failing relationship.

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Basically she would get what she wants, and you don't get what you want. Sounds one sided to me. Trying to be friends with someone you want more with, usually never ends well. You should probably move on. I would bet against the situation you're in, turning out the way you hope it will. Besides you don't want to be her friend, you want to be her lover.

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Never be friends with someone you are sexually or romantically interested in. Because you get to look at the pie but you never get to taste the pie but everyone else gets to have a piece but you. Understand....just cut ties and let go plus you over pursued and she got bored of you because you were texting night and day.

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She made it clear that she did not want a relationship.

You seemed to have formed a romantic and emotional attachment to her.

You also uses the words "build the friendship' although it's clear you want more.

This isn't going in the right direction for you. Let her go.

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