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Don't want to look desperate


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Hey guys! I'm in a tough situation with my ex right now. We ended on good terms and are still talking to each other every day. I want him back because I love him and I know he loves me. The reason for our breakup is because he is dealing with bipolar depression right now. We both openly talk about how we are glad we're still around to be there for one another, because he knows I am going through a rough time too. I've gone to him about the things I'm upset about and even though he keeps his feelings to himself a lot, he will tell me when something is on his mind and is upsetting him. I know it is not the right time for us to be getting back together. In fact, we told ourselves to give it a couple months (It's been a month and a half). However, I love him so much and in that time, I don't want to accidentally push him away. This sounds dumb, but I've even looked up tips to not push an ex away if you want to get back together, where I've seen things telling me to not look desperate, meaning to stop going to him about hard times in life, stop contacting him, and let him miss me, so I'm hoping what I have already done didn't ruin anything. I guess our situation is different? I'm not sure. I would feel bad if I just stopped talking to him at this point in either of our lives. I'm stuck between 'wait it out and everything will fall into place; whatever happens, happens' and 'go get what makes you happy'.


I've been told that he has already put himself in a situation where he is willing to lose me, and I see where they were coming from. His situation and happiness is far too important to me to sit there and wonder why he broke up with me at all. I know why he did and I support it 100%.


I'm just wanting to know if I'm looking too desperate to him or if I should even see us getting back together. This whole thing has been throwing me for a loop and I'm wondering if I'm doing the right things so far.

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I think you're reading the wrong relationship tips in this situation. You need to explore the sites about living with someone who is bipolar and breaking up with someone who is bipolar. It's not exactly you pushing him away, but him pushing you away. 90% of bipolar marriages end in divorce and the number of relationships that end because of it is even higher. Quite often, the other partner just has to leave for their own mental health which sounds like that's what you had to do. But the relationship tips you're talking about is for a normal relationship not for someone who is bipolar. In a bipolar relationship, you can't expect that partner to do anything to hold together a relationship. If he's been abusing you or arguing with you, things are not going to change until he gets help and treatment. Since you're dealing with other things in your life, putting up with someone who is bipolar is probably even harder for you at this time. If you're not capable of helping him, he certainly isn't capable of helping you. You might want to call things a draw until the both of you either heals their problems or moves on.

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Thank you! That makes sense. The thing that got me was just that the relationship with him is the happiest I've ever been. We never had any real fights and I've never had a better connection with someone. He's always treated me so well. I will look into those sites though.

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