And There It Is!!

[macdonner]

Hi guys, just need a rant, although i have already had a rant with the ex lol. I woke up this morning to this message:

 

Don't know if you want to know or not but thought i should tell you before we go to your counsellor. I've met someone recently, we've only met a couple of times and no, nothing happened before we separated and had nothing to do with my decision to get a divorce.

 

 

Funny how I've read that a man doesn't leave his family unless he has someone else to go to, at least 95% of the time. He expects me to believe they've recently met.....I told him it's bollocks lol. I then proceeded to tell him he's a coward and unfortunately I got a bit angry and told him he's a sh$$ father - in my defence, he left 3rd December to go to work and won't be back until end of January, and it transpires today he's working for 6 weeks and then going on holiday for 2 weeks afterwards! Does that smack of a caring father, especially when their grades have gone down and our son is seeing a psychologist?? As he has 5 weeks off after he finishes work, surely he can see his kids and then go on holiday?? Also I found out from my daughter that his mother has not sent them anything for birthdays, not even a message on my daughter's phone. She can ignore me all she likes but she has the means to communicate with her grandchildren and has not done so. It's disgusting and so i've told him to tell her that she will not be allowed to see them when me and the kids move back to our home country.

 

Thanks for reading lol.

[SherrySher]

Whether he met this person before or after your separation, it still is not right. What is he thinking? You don't go running from one person to the next. The least he could have done was wait for the divorce papers to be finalized and even then,..to give himself time out of respect for the loss of your marriage!

 

I know it's hard right now, but try to remain strong for your children. You will get past this.

[Wiseman2]

If he's petitioned for divorce, don't bother with counselling. Get your own attorney and get your ducks in a row. Cease this type of personal chit-chat and only discuss what you want/need with your attorney and your counselor...alone.

before we go to your counsellor.

had nothing to do with my decision to get a divorce.

[SweetGirl28]

I'm sorry :( okay, do not go to counseling together, you're angry and rightfully so,

Just continue it for yourself. Try hard not to be upset in front of your kids for their

sake.

 

Getting angry and fighting with him won't help at this point.

Don't make threats, whether you mean them or not. Everything you say to him can come

back to bite you. Him having someone else can fuel the fire also, if she's one to stir the

pot(hopefully she minds her own business).

[macdonner]

Whether he met this person before or after your separation, it still is not right. What is he thinking? You don't go running from one person to the next. The least he could have done was wait for the divorce papers to be finalized and even then,..to give himself time out of respect for the loss of your marriage!

 

I know it's hard right now, but try to remain strong for your children. You will get past this.

 

He's thinking with his d&&&, he has a high sex drive and 5 months without (if that is the case that they only met recently) will have been torture for him!

 

He has not filed for divorce yet as we haven't been separated long enough. I saw my counsellor this morning as it happens and she says to still continue with the "joint separation counselling" so that he can learn not to set off my triggers and have some consideration for my needs as it all seems to be about him at the moment! he wants me to be happy and have a good life......but i can't have a social life like he can it seems.....

 

talking to his family today, some didn;t even know he had left ,some didn't know he had moved out 3 months ago, what is he playing out!! Seems it's a case of keep her on the backburner in case the grass isn;t greener. Sorry, newsflash NOT HAPPENING!!

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this is happening, but this make no sense unless you and he Both wish to reconcile. He has left you and a divorce is pending, he's not interested in your buttons or understanding your needs. Do you have children?

I saw my counsellor this morning as it happens and she says to still continue with the "joint separation counselling" so that he can learn not to set off my triggers and have some consideration for my needs

[macdonner]

Sorry this is happening, but this make no sense unless you and he Both wish to reconcile. He has left you and a divorce is pending, he's not interested in your buttons or understanding your needs. Do you have children?

 

 

yes we have 2 children as per original post. He works away for 3 - 5 weeks at a time generally. He claims to miss them loads even though he has the opportunity to see them after working for 6 weeks.... but he's going on a 2 week holiday first...... so they won't have seen him for 8 weeks.