Are we moving at a normal pace and is this normal between us?

[vmaypa]

I’ve been talking to this girl since September and we recently made it official in November. Things are good between us, but we haven’t been to each other’s house, or even had sex yet. LOL are we moving at a normal pace? She has a three-year-old daughter whom I am in no rush to meet so I can understand why she doesn’t want me coming over to her house. She works three 12-hour shifts, goes to school, and has a daughter as I mentioned earlier. Also, is it normal to have moments of silence while we’re in the car together where we don’t talk? I don’t know why, but I feel like couples should always have something to talk about? Especially texting, there are times where we rarely text, but she would always say good morning, hows your day, what are you up to, and she would also call me sometimes after work to have a conversation with me. We normally converse more in person than we do through text, but I’m just wondering about the times where we have those moments of silence. The reason I bring this up was because I asked my friend about how he is with his girl and he said they always have something to talk about, whether it’s through text or in person. He would always say they’re constantly talking even after they go their separate ways.. lol I might be overthinking, but I really like this girl and I don’t want to lose her due to things moving too slowly or through the way we communicate lol... when we don’t see each other she always says that she misses me and when we’re together I can tell she likes me by the way she acts by holding my hands, putting her head against my arm, kissing me, etc..

[abitbroken]

I think that with a 3 year old to chase around, her times of silence are her having her hands full. if there is mutual interest, and you were only official a month, i think things are at a fine pace. I think you should invite her over to see where you live - an afternoon outing, etc, rather than inviting her over for the evening. She may very well reciprocate - but she can't when she has her kid. If she is on a date with you the child might be at home with a sitter. So make the first move to show her where you live. Other things will follow. I think "constant communication" at this stage is overrated. Id worry if she was constantly communicating with a 3 year old to chase after

[Imho]

I’ve been talking to this girl since September and we recently made it official in November. Things are good between us, but we haven’t been to each other’s house, or even had sex yet. LOL are we moving at a normal pace? She has a three-year-old daughter whom I am in no rush to meet so I can understand why she doesn’t want me coming over to her house. She works three 12-hour shifts, goes to school, and has a daughter as I mentioned earlier. Also, is it normal to have moments of silence while we’re in the car together where we don’t talk? I don’t know why, but I feel like couples should always have something to talk about? Especially texting, there are times where we rarely text, but she would always say good morning, hows your day, what are you up to, and she would also call me sometimes after work to have a conversation with me. We normally converse more in person than we do through text, but I’m just wondering about the times where we have those moments of silence. The reason I bring this up was because I asked my friend about how he is with his girl and he said they always have something to talk about, whether it’s through text or in person. He would always say they’re constantly talking even after they go their separate ways.. lol I might be overthinking, but I really like this girl and I don’t want to lose her due to things moving too slowly or through the way we communicate lol... when we don’t see each other she always says that she misses me and when we’re together I can tell she likes me by the way she acts by holding my hands, putting her head against my arm, kissing me, etc..

 

The questions that came to mind is Why hasn't she been to your house and being that you state you are in no rush to meet her child, what are your plans with this lady? I understand being cautious and not having anyone around her child if she is unsure that the relationship will blossom into anything serious. You've been talking for 4 months, don't want to meet the kid but you're concerned that you haven't had sex yet. I'm sure although she's quiet she is probably picking up on all of that. Personally, I don't have a problem with comfortable silences but they usually come later in a relationship. The beginning is usually talkative and about getting to know one another. Everyone is different. Don't base your relationship on other people. She sounds like she has a lot going on. All positive but still a lot going on.

[emzara]

I think that timing is perfectly understandable. Two months is not that long, especially with a woman who works so many hours and has a kid! If she's a good mother, she will wait to introduce the two of you, which it sounds like she's doing. It can be traumatic for a young child to bond with someone who ends up leaving, so maybe she's making sure the two of you will be together over the long-term.

 

Moments of silence can be wonderful. Maybe she's reflecting, maybe she's tired, maybe she's introverted.

 

I would give it time.