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She’s so confusing


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So my ex and I broke up close to 7 weeks ago (she left me)we were together for close to 2.5 years and we lived together, for the first two weeks she attempted to talk and showed regret and interest in working it out and reconciling which I shut down and shut her out. The 3rd week it really sank in and I had a major change of heart and wanted her back.


The minute I showed I wanted to her back together she began showing resistance. We went to dinner after I spent the week sending a few long text messages of my love for her and wanted to make things work and how we could make our relationship healthy for the long run. She then told me she needed space, I told her I would fight for her. Two days go by and I had left her alone and she broke the silence but still torn about reconciling. Again I plead my case and she’s resisting, the following week we speak some more here and there through texts and she seems unwilling to give us another try. She has still messaged I love you at this point several times and expressed how she misses me.


This past Monday I just ask how she’s doing and if she’s happy etc, she again says she misses me and we made plans to see each other before Christmas. Two days later she asks if we could arrange a date for her to come and collect the rest of her things clothes/furniture. At this point I’m very confused and I panicked and begged/pleaded to keep and open mind and she says she doesn’t see us reconciling and thinks the problems were consistent and convinced they’ll only return.


Two days later she says we need to stop this back and forth and begin healing and she doesn’t feel the same way anymore and something broke inside her. This is a girl that a week or two before writes that she loves me and 4 days before writes that she misses me and was thinking about me. We had a heated discussion that ended poorly and stop all contact, this was Friday.


I had already mailed a Christmas gift to her that held a lot of significance that she had not yet received. My mother passed away from cancer and while in the hospital lost all her hair so I bought her a Hermes scarf to cover her head. I kept this scarf for the past 12 years and gifted it to my ex about 9 months ago, she unfortunately neglectfully lost it and felt terrible but i was pretty mad and resentful for a long time. Anyways I bought a new one and placed a simple card inside saying “you’re the only thing that is irreplaceable to me” which she opened today. She wrote me right away

“I finally opened your parcel. I was really angry and upset the other night and couldn’t bring myself to opening it until now. It’s really beautiful and I’m insanely touched, so so thoughtful and special.... I should have been the one gifting you one...I don’t know if I can accept it it’s too much and I under stand if you want to take it back, Just the gesture in and of itself is very special and I’m so touched and grateful It was a really beautiful sentiment and heartbreaking.”

Wishes me a merry Christmas Eve and be well with a heart emoji. Like am I not reading something? Am I in denial or is all hope not lost? I really want to save this relationship, we planned on marrying each other and spoke of it often and even as recent as a month before breaking up and even bought all new appliances financed on her card. I am 36, she just turned 30.

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I’m sorry mate that’s the way it goes, we can’t deny she’s confused but she’s made the decision to bail and unfortunately you could buy her the Eiffel Tower but her mind won’t change, you gotta give her time, and only time will tell.

It’s hard but you have to stop sending her messages and pleading, if you read on this forum that rarely works, didn’t work for me too.

It only brings pity upon you, it will also make you susceptible to actions you will regret soon.

Take the popular route, block her everything where so you can’t write, it will hard but this is the first step.

Don’t send her any more gifts, she’s knows your position, she knows you love her and want to fight for it, but for some reason, usually goes something around : she’s found someone else or she’s lost interest, happens a lot with LTR.

Try to heal and move on, cry in your bed, but wake up and do your activities, this will give you more pleasure, it will hard but take a day at a time and move on

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