We dated for a week shy of a year & she broke it off. We dated again 2 times after that.

[SpadeChaser010]

I met a girl who I fell head over heals with quickly. She is unlike anyone I've ever dated or been intimate with in the 18 years I've dated. She's extremely smart, sexy, confident, open minded, kinky, kind, caring, dark(in a good way, at least to me) mysterious, sick & twisted (also in a good way) Drivin, independent & beautiful. We were so close & connected physically, mentally, emotionally & sexually. The sex was amazing by the way. I was always satisfied with her sexually & so was she. I know for a face that my body, how i was sexually & my size was never a problem. I was bigger than her ex, by alot, so that was never an issue. It was the best sex I've ever had. We were so good together sexually. It was "explosive" is how she put it. We had a falling out a few times after we got back together all the times, because I cheated, not physically, i didn't but put her feelings into consideration & I wasnt honest with her. I wanted to be though. I tried with every shred of strength i have within me to make her happy. Thats all i ever wanted for her. I finally think she has had enough & is done. I truly believe in my heart, & have reason to believe, that we are soulmates & I would give & do anything & I do mean ANYTHING to get her back. So what should I do? Do you think I have a chance?

[SweetGirl28]

You're missing the sex!!

 

She broke up with you. It's her decision as to whether she wants to work it out.

But from what you said, doesn't look like she will be back.

 

Let this go because if you hurt her by cheating , I'm assuming emotionally?

she's going to take a good long break from you. Perhaps permanently.

 

Whatever you do--- do not get needy and beg.

[MissCanuck]

You're putting a lot of emphasis on sex. Why is that? You say little else about her as a person, and focus instead on how much you enjoyed the sex and how adequate you are. Think about that for a moment.

 

As SweetGirl28 says, you likely want her back for the wrong reasons. You weren't very connected if you wound up cheating on her, in any capacity. She didn't leave you because her ex is more well-endowed or because she got bored in bed with you. She left because you were dishonest and untrustworthy.

 

You're letting lust get in the way of rational judgment. You hurt her, and it sounds as though the ship has likely sailed. But I question just how-board you really were.

[SpadeChaser010]

Emotionally yes, but I honestly didn't want to, I'd that makes any sense. I've always wanted for her to be happy. I am missing that but I miss her more, everything about her.

[SpadeChaser010]

I am because it was the best sex I've ever had, NOT just for physical reasons. I know she feels the same way because last time I went over to see her she said "you know I can't refuse you". It was kinky, dirty, vulgar & we had a lot of it because I was & am extremely physically attracted to her, on top of loving her with all my heart. There is soooo much I could say about her as a person, pages & pages actually. That's NOT why I want her back, I'm in love with her & everything she is. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. We openly tale about marriage & living together. I know I was dishonest & untrustworthy, but I've started to change that. I really have. What do you mean how board?

[SweetGirl28]

I am because it was the best sex I've ever had, NOT just for physical reasons. I know she feels the same way because last time I went over to see her she said "you know I can't refuse you". It was kinky, dirty, vulgar & we had a lot of it because I was & am extremely physically attracted to her, on top of loving her with all my heart. There is soooo much I could say about her as a person, pages & pages actually. That's NOT why I want her back, I'm in love with her & everything she is. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. We openly tale about marriage & living together. I know I was dishonest & untrustworthy, but I've started to change that. I really have. What do you mean how board?

 

The sex is your driving force, too great to let go of,

just like my recent ex and I. I think you're clouded here, and should take some time alone to

really see if this is what you want. I've got the offer now, and I'm not responding to him because

I know I need to really think about this. That amazing sexual chemistry is hard to come by,

and even harder to let go. Make a list of all you like about her, and what you don't.

Then weigh it all out. This really comes off as all about the sex.

[MissCanuck]

I am because it was the best sex I've ever had, NOT just for physical reasons. I know she feels the same way because last time I went over to see her she said "you know I can't refuse you". It was kinky, dirty, vulgar & we had a lot of it because I was & am extremely physically attracted to her, on top of loving her with all my heart. There is soooo much I could say about her as a person, pages & pages actually. That's NOT why I want her back, I'm in love with her & everything she is. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. We openly tale about marriage & living together. I know I was dishonest & untrustworthy, but I've started to change that. I really have. What do you mean how board?

 

Sorry, that was a typo in my post. I mean to write "how on-board" you really were.

 

People who are truly invested in their partners don't stray. Even if you started becoming more open and honest, she won't forget the pain of your betrayal and whatever it was the led to you behaving that way to begin with. I again encourage you to reflect on how much you actually loved her if you were able to risk it all. What was the extent of your cheating, and how did your ex find out?

 

Yes, sexual chemistry is a funny thing. But it's not everything. I say that having once been in similar position as your ex. I had great physical chemistry with a guy I once dated. Then I discovered what he was up to in his spare time, and it too involved another woman. I too initially found it hard to resist that wild chemistry even after I found out, but I ultimately lost interest as I couldn't really look at him the same way anymore. I wonder if that might be where you ex is, emotionally.

[SpadeChaser010]

The sex is your driving force, too great to let go of,

just like my recent ex and I. I think you're clouded here, and should take some time alone to

really see if this is what you want. I've got the offer now, and I'm not responding to him because

I know I need to really think about this. That amazing sexual chemistry is hard to come by,

and even harder to let go. Make a list of all you like about her, and what you don't.

Then weigh it all out. This really comes off as all about the sex.

 

Yeah, I can't let go of it because it was the best I've had. I'm not clouded, I've known this is what I want for a long time. I mean, we were openly talking about marriage & moving in together. Can you see why I can't let it go? Yeah, I think that's a good idea for you to do. Your so right, it truly is. I can honestly say our sec would the most amazing sec I've ever had.that's not what it was all about to me, definitely not.

[SweetGirl28]

The sex is your driving force, too great to let go of,

just like my recent ex and I. I think you're clouded here, and should take some time alone to

really see if this is what you want. I've got the offer now, and I'm not responding to him because

I know I need to really think about this. That amazing sexual chemistry is hard to come by,

and even harder to let go. Make a list of all you like about her, and what you don't.

Then weigh it all out. This really comes off as all about the sex.

 

Okay, I'll believe you on this.

However, you've been broken up more than once.

So the issues were never resolved.

How many times back and forth can either of you withstand?

Sooner or later, it's irreparably broken. Which you think is the case. You said you think she's done.

So....what are you going to do?

I assume she broke up with you? How long ago?

[MissCanuck]

Yeah, I can't let go of it because it was the best I've had. I'm not clouded, I've known this is what I want for a long time. I mean, we were openly talking about marriage & moving in together. Can you see why I can't let it go? Yeah, I think that's a good idea for you to do. Your so right, it truly is. I can honestly say our sec would the most amazing sec I've ever had.that's not what it was all about to me, definitely not.

 

Then why did you cheat on her?

[SpadeChaser010]

Okay, I'll believe you on this.

However, you've been broken up more than once.

So the issues were never resolved.

How many times back and forth can either of you withstand?

Sooner or later, it's irreparably broken. Which you think is the case. You said you think she's done.

So....what are you going to do?

I assume she broke up with you? How long ago?

 

I don't know, but I'd do anything for her.

I don't know what I'm going to do. She always said to me "your indecisive & you can never make your mind". Well, considering I've completely stopped talking to anyone, romantically or otherwise & deactivated my facebook, all I've been doing is thinking. I've thought about this & I know, without a doubt, this is what I want. I want her. Period.

[SpadeChaser010]

Okay, I'll believe you on this.

However, you've been broken up more than once.

So the issues were never resolved.

How many times back and forth can either of you withstand?

Sooner or later, it's irreparably broken. Which you think is the case. You said you think she's done.

So....what are you going to do?

I assume she broke up with you? How long ago?

 

Then why did you cheat on her?

 

I honestly don't know. You know what they say, "you don't know what you got till its gone" 😭💔

[MissCanuck]

I honestly don't know. You know what they say, "you don't know what you got till its gone" 😭💔

 

Then a reconciliation would never work.

 

If you have no idea why you cheated, and cannot figure out what it was that led you to that choice and thus take preventative measures in the future, your ex would have essentially zero confidence that you wouldn't do it again.

 

Were you bored in the relationship? Who was the girl you cheated with, and what the extent of your infidelity? How did your ex find out?

[DaisyMayPorter]

If you were talking about marriage and moving in, then why would you cheat and what exactly was the cheating if it was not physical? Usually if you are cheating in anyway - physical, emotional, etc - then that means something was missing from the relationship. I feel bad for your girlfriend and for this other girl. It's not fair to either of them.

[DaisyMayPorter]

And what did she think you were "indecisive" about? Who to be with?

[hlethorn1]

Then a reconciliation would never work.

 

If you have no idea why you cheated, and cannot figure out what it was that led you to that choice and thus take preventative measures in the future, your ex would have essentially zero confidence that you wouldn't do it again.

 

Were you bored in the relationship? Who was the girl you cheated with, and what the extent of your infidelity? How did your ex find out?

 

I agree completely with this^

 

What exactly did you do that's classed as cheating?

 

Do you honestly feel you'd still take her back if it meant never having sex with her again? If not, then it's not her as a person you love....

[SpadeChaser010]

I look back on it now & I was foolish, stupid & selfish. I don't want any part of being that way anymore. I just want her & I'll do whatever it takes to make her happy because I know for a fact I have in the past so I know I can & will again.

[SpadeChaser010]

And what did she think you were "indecisive" about? Who to be with?

 

I don't know, but she kept saying I couldn't make up my mind but I know now that I have, I really have.

[SpadeChaser010]

And what did she think you were "indecisive" about? Who to be with?

 

I agree completely with this^

 

What exactly did you do that's classed as cheating?

 

Do you honestly feel you'd still take her back if it meant never having sex with her again? If not, then it's not her as a person you love....

 

The sex matters to me yes, & I know for a fact that it's a big BIG thing for her too, so I know that if we didn't have sex, it wouldn't be the same. She has told me she can't have sex with someone unless she is emotionally connected to them. It's how she shows how she feels towards someone.