Should I date autistic women only in this case?

[ironpony]

I've gotten quite a few dates, and sometimes even women will make the first move, but after a couple of dates or more usually, I keep striking out on girls I like and over the years, it has now built up to the point where I feel like maybe I should 'stick to my own kind' as the expression goes, and date autistic women only.

 

Perhaps me being autistic, and keep on going for women are not, is the problem and they see me as having a dealbreaker issue, and I'm not fooling anybody.

 

I mean some people will stick to dating a certain kind of preference and will not be open to other preferences and I feel maybe that's how I should be. Like one time I asked out a girl and she said that she dates black men only.

 

But I guess it might come off as pretty strange if a woman asks me out and I tell her that I only date autistic women, if I were to cut off all other types of women to that extreme. What do you think?

[DanZee]

I don't think the answer is to date someone with ASD. In that relationship you now have two people who have problems with social skills and communication. It sounds like a recipe for disaster.

 

I think you need to reach out to friends and relatives and ask them to critique you and your appearance as if you were out on a date with them. You might find out a bunch of negative things that you can correct. For example, do you dress sloppily? Do you bathe and shave before a date? Do you act properly with a lady? You want to see what other people are seeing and correct any mistakes you may be doing. And then, you will be more prepared for dating discretely without your ASD showing.

[ironpony]

Well I was told by another ASD friend that it's probably a better idea, cause then we have more in common that we can relate too, such as lack of skills and communication.

 

Well I've already gotten my women friends to dress me up so I think I am good on the fashion but I could ask them for a re-evaluation, in case things have changed lately. As for acting properly, define properly? I am nice and hold doors and pull out chairs, if that's what you mean.

[Trinity11]

Hi!

 

I don't know you at all and i do not know what end of the spectrum you are on but I work with a lot of autistic people (a range) and honestly for me, its good to know that they are (maybe not before meeting them however), because that way if you do say something that is slightly off, talk about a subject too much or read a social queue incorrectly, I do not think too much of it at all and simply change the subject etc. I don't feel its different to spending time with any one else, everyone has their quirks and that is all I see it as. If someone is aware of this and is not able to cope, then they are not the gal for you :-) Same as anyone else (im quite quirky ive been told haha, but it makes the friendships/relationships that much more rewarding)

 

As already suggested speaking to friends is a good idea, get them to explain your best points and also some that might be hindering you. But with everyone, love it not easy to find :-)

[DanZee]

I am nice and hold doors and pull out chairs, if that's what you mean.

 

Exactly. But also make sure you're not going overboard with politeness. That you use just enough.

[fabact]

There are no hard or fast rules. The best is if you could meet women who have an understanding of autisim and dont see it as something foreign to them. However it does not have to be the centerpiece of the relationship. Have you tried dating autistic women ?

[ironpony]

No I haven't.