After almost calling the cops he left me he went out of the state forever ! ;(

[Nicol17]

I’m so sorry if this is too long

I’ve been in a 6yrs and 4 moths relationship with the love of my life we r both 25 years old we lived together for 4 years the first 4 years of relationship was amazing I absolutely adored him and he adored me too we got engaged with planes to get married . After his only brother committed suicided our relationship changed he started drinking started smoking and started to talk to other girls and started treating me badly, during that time he humiliated me, abused me verbally and emotionally and ended up leaving me ;( twice he left me and came back in tears saying he made a mistake because he was grieving his death brother, and I took him back two times and try to be happy with him but I could never be the same anymore in every argument I would start remembering how bad he treated me

He was violent from the beginning of the relationship not towards me but when angry he would trow things brake things like dishes or glasses or Kik the wall! We both have our Tempers but lately we had really heated arguments he would ignored me which I hated also I stated becoming violent towards him I slapped him about 3 times he pushed me back shoved me and this one last time he slapped me back !! I don’t even know how things got this far the first time it happened I begged him to go to therapy together he said it was a waste of money (we had money problems) ;( after our last fight I almost called the cops but I didn’t.. both our hearts are broken we both talked a lot about how we don’t work together but I still love him very much he said he loves me too but with all this I don’t believe him he has lied to me many times the trust is broken and he left to another state to the other side of the country and I feel like dying without him ;( I told him it was the best to stay apart , he agreed he said our relationship became dangerous and he doesn’t want to end up in jail he is soo right. Now he is soo far away from me the last day he was here he went to a strip club didn’t even say bye to me it’s just too much pain I don’t know how to overcome this I see him everywhere I go I feel guilty and sad and depressed at the same time please any advice will be very helpful .. thank you!

[ThatwasThen]

Well, its going to take some time for you to rehab from your addiction to him. That's what it is, addiction. It's not love because love doesn't look anything like what you've described in your opening post.

 

Stop talking to him altogether, get investing in yourself so that you are one satisfied and happy single, learn from the relationship so that you don't repeat the same dysfunctional way of relating. Learn that you don't physically abuse someone you're not getting along with, instead you pack up and you leave and you have enough love of self that you don't regret leaving but are proud that you had the strength to do it.

 

Cold turkey withdrawl will rehab you from the habit of having him in your life.

[SweetGirl28]

One day you will be thankful he left.

You did some abusing, however you have also been abused.

It's normal for you to feel the way you are.

This is not love on either of your parts.

Get yourself some much needed therapy to overcome this and find your self esteem again.

You have a long road to recovery ahead of you here. I hope you have the support of friends/ family

to help you.

Do not, for any reason, contact him nor reply if he contacts you.

 

You know what comes next--- the I'm sorry, it will never happen again , I love you, please take me back,

I'll do all I can to right this with you, I need you, I need help, please help me, I can't live without you, my life

is over without you in it, you're the best part of my life, I will never love again because you were my one and only,

along with periods of placing all the blame on you (yup I've lived it) .

 

Post here, journal , preoccupy yourself with anything to release your feelings, as long as it's not to him.

I wish you much luck. You can do this. Have faith in yourself.