Not sure if she likes me or is just being friendly!

[Aussierocker]

I have a problem with a girl from work.I`m not sure if she likes me or is just being friendly.We always smile at each other and make eyes but i know she has a boyfriend.When i`m working my machine 30 meters away she sometime walks past to go to the storeroom and on her way back i`m looking at my machine with my back towards her and she comes up with a question from knowwhere about a subject we have spoken about the week before, this happens quite often like she has walked past and thought 'What can i say to him to start a conversation'.She only works 2 half days a week so the window of opportunity to talk to her is very small.I really like her a lot but im not sure if my thought s are being clouded because she is taking up all my headspace. Now im trying not to look over towards her in case she catches me out and feels uncomfortable even though ive caught her out.I`m not sure what to feel can anyone help? Can any girls out tell how much is in a smile etc

[greenie35]

It's really hard to say...I personally tend to smile a lot at guys I like as friends. I usually tend to shy away from guys I am attracted to and not smile unless they smile at me first. I think if she is finding reasons to talk to you then she might be interested. Try initiating conversation with her or smiling at her and see her reaction. If she acts a little shy or looks away and then back at you, there might be something there.

[Kaia]

Smiling isn't always a sign. I smile a lot to people I don't know well and when I'm nervous. But she did initiate conversation with you quite often it seems so I'd say she definitely wants to get to know you at least as a friend. (remember she has a bf!)

[Aussierocker]

Thanks for the advice i next see her on Friday so ill initiate some contact if possible and go from there, i dont want to make a fool of myself if there is nothing there,i might just start off with"so how is your footy tipping going" or "How are you settling in to your new house"

Ive been out for a meal and drink with her and her friend who also works at the same factory full time. Her friend thinks that her bf is a bit of an idiot. This girl doesnt know my age as im 10 years older but i dont look it (im not boasting)! I wonder what she thinks,i wont say anything unless asked. I detect that she is a bit like me ,shy but once comfortable seems to loosen up. My problem is i worry too much what others think.

[mshollywod]

She does in fact like you. I know the game..I've created it myself. Hence why you should not inititate contact. She has a boyfriend but yet is interested in you. Not a good thing. If she makes a move then you can always say something like, "Wow, you're a great girl...too bad you're taken!".

[MetallicAguy]

"Wow you're a great girl too bad you're taken".

That sounds like a good idea for you. Then it'll make her want you more, and it'll tempt her to break up with her bf, that's a good one lol. I'd DEFINITELY use that on her if I were you.

[mshollywod]

Thanks, MetallicAguy!

[Lily04]

Wow, and here I was thinking that people in relationships can't possibly like anyone else... so innocent, hahaha.

 

I've liked a guy before who was just a newly-wed, and I think he liked me back as well a bit. It sucks big time, I always choose the wrong guys. At least this girl isn't married.

[mshollywod]

Stay away from married people, folks! I once dated a guy unbeknownst to me whom was married. I still don't understand how he was married cause we were together 4 times a week including the weekend..Go figure. I was so pissed off and still am and this was 3 years ago.

 

How did I find out he was married??? I looked up his parents telephone number when I hadn't heard from him in 3 weeks and he's momma cussed me the hell out. I think she felt sorry for me cause I started bawling on the phone.

[Lily04]

Wow, mshollywood, that must suck. No, he made it completely clear that he was married, and wore a wedding ring on his finger so it was obvious. We just talked alone a few times and I think there was some tension/attraction between us, and we both started blushing, but then he quickly said he had to go... I never noticed him wearing a ring then, but for some reason I don't check for those things at first when I really should. It's a good habit to get into. =) It just sucks because although I'm 20, I usually like guys who are 23-27 and many are involved in relationships already, even if we hit it off.

 

My friends advise me to like younger guys, but how can you control attraction? You can't force yourself to like someone... also, I don't think there's much of a problem with it, as long as you're both single and looking! i just have to find single guys that i'm attracted to.

[mshollywod]

Yeah it did. I used to have a bad habit for not checking rings and ring band circles but now I do.

 

You should try attending singles events and functions where you have a 50-50 chance of meeting a single man.

 

I don't think age matters cause you can find single guys in all age groups it all depends where you go.

[Aussierocker]

Just to update you i caught up with the girl from work and i asked her how she is settling into her new house? and she said ok but all her family are away and her uncle is looking after her dogs and that she might have to get them because she is home alone. I thought to myself where is your boyfriend? Surely she knows i`m atracted to her by now and a way to cool that would be to mention her bf, right? And anyway you would think that her bf would be staying with her , so i dont know what to make of this When she 1st came up and walked past my workbench i detected a little aprehension and slight shyness as she was walking up and then her face lightened up with a smile , its frustrating so i`m gonna forget about it and if she comes up to me i`ll play it as it comes and act like it doesnt matter (even though it s burning me up) What do you think?

[mshollywod]

Just to update you i caught up with the girl from work and i asked her how she is settling into her new house? and she said ok but all her family are away and her uncle is looking after her dogs and that she might have to get them because she is home alone...

 

Here is where you play the knight in shining armour and mention to her that you are available and if she needs any assistance, such as walking her dogs when they return, checking her pipes, etc..

 

Use this opportunity to your advantage. Be sincere and nice and you can't go wrong. But don't come off too needy or be used.

 

People help me out... I'm literally fuming at my desk as we speak. I'm so pissed right now. My crush texted me early Monday morning to say he would call me on that night and not only has he not called, but he hasn't returned any of my two calls and one email. I even told him I had something to discuss with him and invited him to an event in which I told him to call me immediately, it's now Wednesday and he hasn't returned my calls or emails. Also my sister invited him to an event on Friday and emailed him and told him she need a response from him and he hasn't responded to her either. This is so not like him. This is a guy where I would be leaving a message for him and he would be on the other line calling me back.

 

You're probably asking why am I making a big deal...well this is the deal. One of the things I like about a guy is the sense of dependablity and keeping your word. If after several months (9) of you being this type of person and being sweet you know that now I've become spoiled to this type of behavior. So naturally if you start behaving differently it's going to make me wonder what's up. A friend told me that he is probably in the pulling back stage where he's waiting to see if I'm going to take the initiative but you know what two days ago I was going to tell him the real deal now I am not.

 

I'm backing off as of now. My heart can't take this anymore. For six out of the nine months I've known him, I've been pining away for this guy and it has been great but I want more. As of today...I'm exploring other options and not waiting on him anymore. I know it will be one of the hardest things I've ever done but if he is interested he will have to pursue me. I'm done and I'm out.

[wlfpack81]

I think people read too much into smiles. They don't mean anything today in the world of dating.

[mshollywod]

Why do you say that?

[wlfpack81]

Well, as some of the other girls mentioned here they've smiled at guys they weren't interested in before. Were just doing it to be nice or in some cases b/c of being nervous (not sure why you'd smile in that case though).

[mshollywod]

Whether it's out of liking someone or nervousness..the smile still means something. You job I guess as a man is figure out which one it is and move from there.

[wlfpack81]

Well, it's the freaking 21st century and women seem to love being independent. So why can't for once the woman make the move eh? LOL

[mshollywod]

There are several reasons why a woman shouldn't make the first move, according to "He's just not that into"...

 

And ladies if you stop and think about it, it's true...

 

1. It makes the man lazy.

2. How does the woman know if the man is really all that into her? He will hang in for the ride (like sex) until someone whom he considers to be better (his pick naturally) comes along.

3.According to surveys and research, men don't take women who approach them first seriously.

4. Men have been know to prefer to do the chasing, cause the thrill of the chase is the most fun.

[Kaia]

I think i'm the one who mention the nervous part

I meant more like a nervous smile. For example, if a stranger comes up to me to ask for time and he looks intimidating, I would try to smile and hopefully he'll smile back and ease off the tension. In new surroundings I try to smile more too, hoping to get some friendly responses.

 

Although i don't actively pursue men, i don't agree with mshollywod totally. You can't just smile and expect guys to figure it out, it's possible that sometimes they just don't get it and you miss your chance.

[mshollywod]

Although i don't actively pursue men, i don't agree with mshollywod totally. You can't just smile and expect guys to figure it out, it's possible that sometimes they just don't get it and you miss your chance.

 

I'm not talking about smiling...I'm talking about wlfpack81's statement about being the 21st Century and women approaching guys.

 

Guys say a smile is enough encouragement for them to approach a girl. Who knows!

[wlfpack81]

Well, I still disagree w/the smile theory. Take this for example. In my last semester in college I had this cute girl smile and come sit beside me on the 1st day of class. Now this girl was very attractive and I was surprised. After chatting w/her for a couple of classes I eventually discovered she had a damn husband (she was 25 and had already graduated once but was going back to school again). So see how that smile, and even sitting beside me and talking me didn't mean jack!!! Girls in general are known as being more friendly and flirty so in this day and age a smile doesn't mean anything. For me a smile isn't encouraging enough at all. I don't make pre-emptive strikes so to speak w/o making sure the chances for success is high.

 

I still say girls are scared to make a move b/c of the rejection factor. Maybe if some women experienced it like I have before then they wouldn't be so harsh when letting guys down. Basically women don't want a taste of their own medicine.

[Caterina]

Lily04, I don't think its good that you like married men...imagine if you were married. I can understand people being attracted to a married man and finding out later hes married or even knowing he's married like once or twice, but not in a pattern. Married men are off limits. Wouldn't it hurt your feelings to know that the man you gave your heart to was flirting with another woman? Don't you want to trust the man you are with? If you want that kind of respect, why don't you give it to others? You are young, twenty years old...enjoy your youth and date men who are free and will be good to you...not cheat on you. B/c if they do it to one woman, there ten times more likely to do it to another.

[Aussierocker]

I think alot can be said in a smile ,the girl that is in my head continues to smile and look at me and im dead sure its not a just being friendly smile but she already has a bf so im just gonna play the game with her,although i am going to ask her if she wants to go to the footy soon and ill ask her friend as well so she wont think i have a hidden agenda although she isnt dumb!

[mshollywod]

wlfpack81, did you ever stop to consider that the reason she was smiling at you was because she found you attractive. Although she's unavailable doesn't mean she can't smile at you cause you're pleasant to look at, hum.

 

I smile at good looking men all the time. And I know that some are unavailable. I don't want them but my smile lets them know I appreciate their beauty.