Jump to content

Boyfriend’s Best Friend is a Girl


Recommended Posts

So, a friend in my sorority introduced me to her best friend last semester, who I’ll call Thomas. I was seeing someone at the time and didn’t think much of their relationship, but continued to hang out with them every weekend and we got to be good friends. My friend, I’ll call her Megan, would always say comments to me about how she thought Thomas was in love with her. She would say things like “I’m really scared Thomas is going to sit me down and just profess his love for me one day and I’m just not going to know what to say” and “I’ll get Thomas to pick us up from the bar, he’s obsessed with me, he would do anything I asked him to” and even “All Thomas wants for his birthday is to hook up with me.” At first I thought maybe Megan was the type to think all guy friends are into her, but then I realized most of her friends are guys and she only ever says this about Thomas. A few months pass by and I had broken up with my boyfriend and I needed a date to a party, so i asked Thomas to go. We hit it off and we’ve been dating 8 months now. But, he moved home for the summer and then both Megan and Thomas studied abroad together this semester, so i really haven’t gotten to see him much at all. Over the summer Megan went and visited Thomas and they went on a few trips together and I wrote it off as they’re just best friends and I couldn’t afford to fly and visit him anyways. In October I flew to Italy (where both Megan and Thomas were studying abroad together) to finally visit him. I noticed some red flags in that he would always invite her to do stuff with us when that was our time together and he talked about her all the time and when he was with her he would laugh more, talk more, and just seemed like he was having more fun. I trust both of them in that I know neither one of them would ever do anything to harm my relationship with Thomas and Thomas would never cheat on me. He’s a very very nice guy and I like to think he’s just a sensitive type that enjoys girls’ company, but it bothers me how close they are and that she felt that he was into her. The other part of me thinks that he would have nothing to gain by dating me long distance if he was into her, but also that he could be getting what he wants because he still gets to spend all day everyday with her when I’m stuck in the United States. I called him last week to tell him my feelings about her thinking he was so into her and how uncomfortable and insecure it made me, and he said she was delusional and he has never had feelings for her, that she is his best friend, and that I am the only one he is interested in, but he wasn’t going to say anything to her. I was reassured in the moment but the more I think about their relationship, the more I am bothered by it. I have this feeling like he is secretly in love with her and knew he couldn’t have her so I was his second choice. I don’t know if these are my insecurities talking or if I have a real problem. Any advice?

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...