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What should my next move be with her?


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I’ve gone out with this girl about 5 times the last 2 months. Both in our early 20s. She asked me out the first two times to get a drinks so going into those dates I was just thinking maybe it’s just as friends. She seems to be conservative when it comes to sex. we even talked about how we both like to take our time before we get to the sex. I haven’t even kissed her yet because I felt like it was too soon and I felt like even though she liked me, she still seemed a bit timid and shy when it comes to that. I promised myself I’d make the move the next date because I started feeling like she was slowly opening up and I was ready too. She started saying things about how she’s never had such a deep connection with a guy, how I’m very attractive, and started pointing out that other girls stare at me lol. After the 5th date though she went cold.. I even texted asking her out on a picnic and she didn’t respond for two days.. I sent a second text asking if she’s okay and she apologized in a long message telling me she’s been very busy but would be down to go IF she got a free day.. I didn’t push it any further and changed the subject.

I haven’t seen her in over a month.. I’m so confused. Not only did she distance herself the first few weeks from seeing me (I asked her out twice and she told me she was really busy and going through family stuff.) I looked at that as an excuse and distanced myself from her for about a week. She then randomly contacted me through text a few days ago and told me some random story at work then later called me and was just creating conversation with me.. I was on the phone kind of confused and shocked that she seemed to want me after hardly any contact.. THEN the next night she texted me telling me she had a dream about me and I kept asking what was it about? and she finally told me “It was an intimate dream, I’ll leave it at that.” I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable so I replied with “I have those dreams all the time haha.” We kept it short and joked around a bit about it yesterday and now I’m here.. idk what my next move should be. Should I ask her out again even though she ignored me the last time I did which was two weeks ago? Honestly this has been a girl I’ve liked for over two years but she’s had a bf that entire time but they broke up about 6 months ago. I really like her.

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Well, she might be recovering from her breakup and that would make her hesitant. Her boyfriend might have abused her so she's reluctant to start a new relationship only after 6 months. Or she only likes you a little. Technically, you would be her rebound relationship and those usually don't last.


You need to have a face-to-face conversation to ask her why. If she avoids a direct answer, then start asking if she was abused emotionally by her bf. If she denies it ask could she be afraid of having a close relationship and that's why she's pulling away. If that's not it, ask if she has a medical problem where sex is painful to her. Try to phrase it in a caring way. That's the only way you'll learn why she's pulling away from you and it will tell you whether to continue to pursue her or not.

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Dude I went out with her last night. I randomly texted her a few hours before and she ended up accepting after being hesitant at first.. she picked the place to go to and of course it was a bar which I’ve always felt uncomfortable going out to because there’s just so much going on that I can’t focus on her completely. The whole night I felt a lot of good signals she was giving off like usual. But last night I noticed She was playing with her hair the whole dam night. I didn’t end up kissing her! Idk why! It’s like I’m waiting for this perfect romantic moment that won’t come especially at a bar lol. When I dropped her off I felt like I messed up big time and now I’m just regretting not going in for it.. I have no idea how she feels now. She texted me asking if I got home safe and sent a second text saying “I feel like it’s hard to hang out with you lol.” I didn’t see that text till this morning and idk what to even say or how to fix this mess up ive made.

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