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Marital Advice Needed Urgent

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Hey guys. I have been married for a year and recently had a baby with surgery. My husband and I got into fight and unfortunately parents were involved and situation went worst. The fight is over but he is not treating me like before i.e. with love and affection. He is purposely indifferent towards me and not currently living with me and the baby either. I have been nice to him since then but he is nowhere close to be normal. What can I do to win his trust back and make him love me again? Please urgent answers needed as I am already getting into depression. Thanks

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i am very sorry this happened. Please call your doctor, right now, no matter what else is going on.


Your questions concern me: "to make him love me again" reflects two misunderstandings. Understand that 1. love lasts through pain; 2. you can't make him do anything - none of us can have this sort of effect on anyone else.


You can only be the best "you", accept and love yourself, every day, no matter what. Ask your doc to help you with that. It will be the most important lesson you learn for yourself and your child. Love yourself, and your child will grow up to be an unbelievably stunning person of sunshine and beauty. Depend on it. So learn to love yourself. Please?


The rest of your post is secondary. Find your doc, your friends or family, and surround yourself and your new baby with love. Get well.


He and his parents will sort some other day. They can take care of themselves.

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Sorry you are going through this. Where is he living and what broke this trust you are "trying to win back"? Are you separated? Please see your doctor as well as an attorney to sort through the financial responsibilities and abandonment. Focus less on "making him love you" and more on your health and rights.

He is purposely indifferent towards me and not currently living with me and the baby either. What can I do to win his trust back and make him love me again?
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You can confide in your parents if you feel like it. He should not be controlling this or isolating you from family. However it's not wise to report back your parents opinions to him. That's your business. Stop right now grovelling etc. You have every right to talk to whoever you want about whatever you want.


Abusers typically try to isolate and then shut you out when they don't manage to control you. Please see a doctor, therapist and lawyer. Look up signs of abuse and educate yourself on this rather than begging him. is purposely indifferent towards me and not currently living with me and the baby either. We had a fight and i told my parents the details. Thats how i broke his trust.

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Your H feels as if you have exposed him and his unpleasant behavior to people outside the marriage, and you have. As you are right to do. In my own life I covered for my H for years, until one day I literally could not walk out the door. I opened the door, and felt as if I was hit by a wall that divided the lie outside from the truth inside. I could not break through that imagined wall and go out into the world where the lie existed and I didn't.


Please don't make the mistake I did. There is no honor in giving your loyalty to someone who intentionally hurts you. For me, many factors kept me married, and one of these was my God-centered thinking. One day I realized God would not put me in a place of harm, and that I hadn't followed God's voice when deciding to marry. That was years ago. My kids don't see how we were ever together in the first place. They are happy, loving, secure young adults now.


I guess our responses are painful and scary; all you were hoping to find is ways to make it through this period of his temper and win him back into the home. I acknowledge how hard this may be to read and to hear. You have just had surgery (mine were by surgery too). I can think of no man I know who would walk out as your H did. It is the most unloving act, selfish, destructive, and punishing. Here you are freshly home, trying to heal, with a new bundle of love in the house, and sleeping maybe an hour or two at a time.


Please know that you will be better off, and so will your little one, in a house free of your H's behavior. Please, find your path to be freed of someone who would treat you this way. His temper and how he expressed it were both entirely inappropriate. I am glad you told your parents. I hope they can support you however may be necessary so that you can heal emotionally and thrive.


You are meant to thrive.

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