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Need advice on how/whether to move forward with a friend


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So where to begin. I really need some advice as I am trying to objectively think about how to move forward with a female friend who I really, really like. But the situation, to me, appears complicated and unique?


Backstory: We have been friends for about year, and we hung out usually in a group with other friends. We share many similar interests. During this time, I was in a relationship with another woman. However, I did feel like she was flirting with me at times, telling me things like, "you have a hot body." She would also initiate touch: grab my hand, slide her hands across my shoulders etc. She's been going out on dates and meeting potential romantic partners in her life, but as far as I know she hasn't been successful yet. So this could maybe construed as "unfaithful" kind of thing, but I did feel at times that she could be someone I could be more than friends with. But I never acted on that or gave much thought since I was already in the relationship. And this is not just about physical attraction, but compatibility. Anyways, I was going through a break up with my gf about 2 months ago and I have been confiding in this friend (who I will now call X) for advice. X initially said that I should give it a try and suggested things I could do to get back on track (but they seemed just courteous statements, what kind of friend would tell you to break it up immediately?). Eventually, on one night, X sort of told me that I should break up, and I was surprised by that. About a week after that, I broke up with my gf (it was bound to happen). X and I have been spending a lot of time together since then (like every weekend nights we would be together, and some weeknights). Now I feel like there was always that feeling of awkward and uncomfortable attraction, the kind that you get when you really like the girl. I also feel that's the way she is like around me. I made some intimate moves and held her hand (interlocking grip). I also had my hand on her thigh and she doesn't avoid it and sometimes reciprocates. We also cuddled on the sofa watching a movie together.


Now, usually, I take these signs as cues that I could make a more aggressive move toward her (like kissing). However, I just came off a relationship and don't want to appear as I'm rebounding or "manwhorish." So I've been keeping it cool and trying to take it slow with her. But the question is, I don't know how she feels about me explicitly and I'm just going with my gut feeling so far. The other confusion also comes as we don't really text much with each other. She takes much longer to text me back, but she eventually texts me back with something. I also don't want to lose her as a friend but do see that we could be great in a romantic relationship.


I feel like I'm destined to tell her about my feelings soon and ask her soon about how she feels about me, but I would appreciate any and all feedback on this situation. Thanks.

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You don't want to appear as if you're "rebounding or manwhorish" to whom? Your girlfriend? The one who told you to break up with your old girlfriend? If you don't make a move soon, you're going to lose her. And if she refuses your advance, then why are you wasting your time with her? Is she using you to hide out?


Yeah it's nice hanging out with someone, but your relationship is in limbo until you find out one way or another what she's doing with you. Make a move, even if it's just to suggest being boyfriend-girlfriend.

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