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Am I just overthinking?


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So I've known this girl for around a year and a half, for the sake of this post I'll call her Ellen. When me and Ellen started speaking it was only over text, although we were in the same class. I used to be a super shy guy, I only started talking to her because my best friend at the time was dating her (He told her to add me online)


The second we started talking I could feel the chemistry we had together, we had a LOT in common and she'd constantly remind me how I'd always make her laugh. About 2 months after she breaks up with my best friend (Will call him David.) She'd tell me everything, they ended on bad terms so I was sort of stuck between them both. She'd always wanna meet up after class to do things together which I wanted to do, but being the idiot I am chose not too because I didn't want to start drama with David or any of my other classmates. It was like this for a while, she'd ask all the time and I'd just never have the courage to just do it and not care what others thought.


I really liked her at this point, a few months later she ends up telling me straight she likes me and.. being the idiot I am told her I like her too, I love her but I felt like the classmates would just drive us away.. so we remained friends until about a month ago. I thought the feelings would go away, but they only got stronger.. I was seriously in love with this girl and decided I had to tell her, there was that tiny glimmer of hope she still liked me back, but I wasn't expecting anything.


I ended up telling her straight and she told me she still likes me and wants to try working something out. So we've been dating for about a month now but something just seems off, whenever I try to make plans with her she seems to always be working. Now I know she does work a lot and I totally understand she has priorities but it just feels like she's not really interested. She's made plans for us to go out herself, but when the day comes I hear nothing of it, we just have a normal conversation. I know it's partly my fault for not asking her directly what happened to our plans but it just doesn't seem right to make plans then act almost as though you never even made them in the first place. Lately even texting just doesn't seem right, most things are 1 word answers (a line at best) and she can take as long as 3 hours to reply. Again, I know we've only just started dating and she has priorities, but when I see her active and still not finding the time to reply for 3 hours is that just me being petty? I have no idea if she does this to any of her other friends which is why I'm not sure if she generally can't reply and I'm just overthinking or if it's something else. We only get to see eachother 2 times a week due to class schedules so I barely see her as it is.


I'm crazy for her, but I don't know if the spark has gone between us. I really want things to work out but it just feels like she doesn't like me the way she used to.. Am I just overthinking this or do you guys think there's something wrong?

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Wait a minute. You're seeing each other twice a week. And she has a heavy class load. And sometimes it takes her three hours to reply back to you. It sounds like a normal relationship to me so far. As for her not acknowledging you have a date, did you remind her?


Don't ruin it by being needy. Relax and see how the relationship unfolds. It should come naturally. If it doesn't, then you have a problem.

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I think something is wrong... with your thought pattern.


"I love her, I am in love with her?" No. You don't. Way too invested and a misunderstanding of what love it. Love is slow, boring (or it looks that way), and as comfortable as old denim.




Instead of wondering how this will turn out, focus on how it is right now. If you want to see her again, make a plan to do that. If you don't, let it go. Minimize the texting in between so that you can balance out your investments in your self, your school, and your friends.

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