She's pulling away from my insecurities

[camwhite18]

Hey guys,

I'll keep this short.

I'd say lately I'm noticing signs of me becoming increasingly insecure,

 

-becoming a bit more needy/more need for affection

- she seems to be pulling back as I'm still messaging and her reciprocation is lacking.

- becoming jealous,more than I have ever been and i hate that about myself.

 

**I'm glad I noticed that i am being insecure, this way i can work on it and become better.

 

I'm glad I'm noticing this soon, this way i wont lose her based on me driving her away from a internal conflict with myself, but also insecurity is something that isnt fixed overnight and gradually take time. What are some advice I can use to slowly get this girl back in My good books, if any men have been in this same boat. We still have a date tonight, so I still have a great chance to show her who I am as she still for sure is interested in me.

 

-would it be a setback if I said i knew i was insecure and I'm working on It, so In other words, if i said hey i can be insecure at times and i recognize that, and I'm working on It, and that if it ever interferes with this relationship, it is not your fault but mine, I will accept responsibility. would she appreciate the honestly or would she be turned off?

[figureitout23]

Every woman is different. If she's in a relationship with you I'd think she would appreciate some clarification but just because you recognize your flaws doesn't give you the right to act immaturely. I dated a guy recently and I was aware of his jealousy issues and I worked with him but he had no desire to work on it so I had to eventually walk away.

[katrina1980]

Since you said in your title she is pulling away due to your insecurities, it would appear she is quite aware.

 

Instead of actually 'telling' her you are working through your anxieties/insecurities, why not 'show' her through your actions that you are working through?

 

This early on, you don't want to burden her with what amounts to your own particular neurosis.

 

I mean how would you expect her to respond?

 

Best to show her through actions that you are taking charge of your issues, working through and will not allow them to negatively impact your relationship.

 

In a long term committed relationship, it would be different, but this early on, no. Not in my opinion anyway.

 

I am wondering, did something specific happen that has caused you to become anxious and insecure?

 

Have you felt this way in other relationships? If so, how did you resolve?

 

If it's something she is doing to cause you to feel this way (not suggesting she is), this early on it might be a good idea to consider the possibility that this girl may not be the right fit for you.

 

This early stage is the time to observe whether or not someone is right for you long term.

 

If she is doing things that cause you anxiety and insecurity, then again perhaps she is just not the right fit.

 

If it's your nature to become insecure, takes steps to resolve otherwise same thing will happen in your next relationship, next one after that and so on.

 

Good luck, tough issues to sort through!

[katrina1980]

cam, I just read your prior threads, no wonder you are feeling so anxious and insecure, geez!

 

As DancingFool so eloquently posted in one of your earlier threads, with all your gf's unfounded accusations, not understanding your need for space from time to time and you feeling smothered, her negative and insulting comments, among other things, this RL sounds like a toxic mess.

 

May I ask why you are still with her, or even want to be with her?

 

What is it, why do you stay? Is it the challenge? Hot in bed? What?

 

Genuinely curious.