Moonpie215 Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 I know I should leave. Countless people have told me so. I just keep being told by my partner that I'm the problem so maybe I have gotten it wrong and it really is my own fault? I do everything in our house. He works full time and I have to stay at home with our child because there is nobody to help with childcare. Three nights a week I work evenings at a hotel. I get up during the night with the baby, I feed him all his meals even if I'm rushing to go to work, I do all the washing, all the cleaning, the school runs for the other two children, take them all to football and the baby classes, cook all the meals. I buy thr clothes and the shoes leaving no money for myself. I never have anything left for me. My partner pays all the bills but is left over with £400 for himself each month. I have nothing and he says he won't discuss finances with me. He never buys me anything, sometimes he will help out but make out it's a huge deal afterwards so I stopped asking because he holds it against me. I wonder if he is right in not discussing finances. I see it as OUR money seeing as we have a child and a household but he sees it as HIS money? Also, he thinks nothing of telling me to shut up or call me names. He calls me b**ch, cu**, moron, loser, rat, idiot, fu** off, get out. I will be crying and he just walks off and leaves. He says I deserve to be called these things because I annoyed or nagged him? All I ever ask is for help with the baby. I was up with him for 45 minutes last night and I didn't mind because my partner was working. However I went through to the bedroom and saw he was up sitting on his phone. I asked him to help because he was up anyway and I was struggling. I got a tirade of abuse. I was called a selfish bi*** and he got in my face and threw the throw from the bed at me. He must have heard me crying in the babies room through the monitor but he didn't bother checking on me. The baby did fall asleep and I slept on the sofa upset. The next morning he woke me up and kissed me and acted as though nothing had happened. I do everything for this guy because I love him so much. He makes me play with his hair every night, I even have to cut his toenails (this actually sounds like a joke typing this but it's true). I wouldn't mind doing it but I never get anything back. He just takes everything from me and I get nothing back. If I do something well or the house is clean he will always find something that I haven't done right. He jokes and says "it's to keep you on your toes" and laughs but I really do find it a bit upsetting. He always has "banter" with me and calls me old etc (I'm 29 by the way) and if he takes it too far then I'm too sensitive. He never says anything nice so I do get upset when all he ever does is make fun of me. I am quite a sensitive person, but I'm honest and thoughtful. I am very tuned in to my own and others emotions so I can tell he doesn't care very often. If he says something mean and he gets upset he just says "it's fine" completely devaluing my feelings and walks away. He often calls me "woman" for a joke as well but it is all the time and I do genuinely feel like it's degrading. It's not just now and again. If I call him out on his harsh words he often puts his arm around my throat really hard and says "shut up" in a jokey way but it leaves me feeling uncomfortable to be honest. I feel like what I do, all the boring household tasks and taking care of everyone means nothing to him. I'm just the housemaid. Is this all in my head? Do I really have a right to be upset? I do nag sometimes but it's because I always end up doing everything alone while he sits on his phone. I just really want to make him happy but nothing I do is ever enough and it never matters about me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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