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Help...so confused


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Hi all...first time here and hoping for some clarity.


Last year a guy started at work on a temp basis. He is very attractive and quite flirtatious and often asked me to go for a drink. I resisted him for several months but in the end agreed and we started a relationship. It was kept very quiet at work. It lasted about two months and one night he cancelled on me and I got very angry. I overreacted as I tend to do. He then explained he was not looking for a relationship, he'd only recently had a very bad break up. He is still clearly broken.


The "relationshiop" stalled for about six months but in this time he was still flirting and asking me "out"


Again, I agreed to see him and we started up again. Things went on for a couple of months but I felt like I was doing all the chasing. I expected him to be like me but his idea of approaching me was more laid back. One night back in June I asked if I would always feel like I was doing the work. He replied again he didn't want a relationship. I asked him to ignore any messages from me as I was falling so hard. A couple of weeks later, he had moved to another of ourlocations and I had to visit on business. Despite our "breakup" two weeks before, he asked me to come visit him. I did and we.spent the next 8 weeks hanging out on weekends (at his place)


Three weeks ago we had an argument over something unrelated to us and it all appeared finished. But I did the girl thing and texted him and he was quick.to invite me to see him again.


He says he doesn't want a "relationship" and eventually wants children (I'm 53 so out of the question for me, he is 43)


And despite my being completely open with him and even saying I had fallen in love, he still continues to see me. We have a great relationship otherwise. We talk about life and the universe. The sex is amazing and he is passionate and tactile when we are together..But when we are apart I feel like he doesn't even think of me.


I can't understand how anyone could be like this. Knowing I am in love, knowing how I feel. He is now a partner in the new location and technically I work for him so this confuses matters even worse. I would run from someone I didn't have such feelings for.


Des he have feelings for me but too afraid to let them go after all the hurt??


Any advice will be taken on board.



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Sounds like you got involved in an FWB, but as is typical, you developed feelings, he hasn't. He is being very clear with you that he will not have a relationship with you outside of the fwb. I think you need to accept this at face value and cut off all contact with him until you get over him. He is actually being very much straightforward with you about this. It's only confusing to you because you want more so you are trying to read something else into this.

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Hello Jojo, it might be easier to think about moving or trying to get a new job, have you considered that? I had to do this, something became very painful for me in my last job and I knew I had to move, this relationship just sounds a bit too complicated to make you happy...best of luck to you XXX

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