Nervous About Seeing Him Tomorrow

[macdonner]

I am off to Rome for a break tomorrow and the ex is coming over as he is watching the kids and dogs at my place. I haven't seen him for 6 weeks and have kept contact via text to a minimum about kids and bills. I thought I was beginning to be able to control my emotions but we had an argument (about a bill) over text yesterday. He ended up apologising about jumping to conclusions and I didn't respond. I can't believe I got so angry yet again and it's like all I've learned about controlling emotions just flew out the window! Now I am nervous about meeting him tomorrow as i have a feeling as soon as I see him the anger that I felt towards him after he left is going to flare up again. Any tips on how to control myself??

[glitterfingers]

Just remind yourself that if you get angry, you lose all chances at reconciliation. If your marriage is important to you (which it is), keep that at the forefront of your mind.

 

Maybe don't address the question of reconciliation until you're back from your trip? Let him miss you and remember how good his life was at home with you and the kids

[macdonner]

Thanks for the advice. At this stage I don't think i'll be mentioning reconciliation for a while yet, I think I'm far from ready!

[catfeeder]

Focus on your trip and regard him as in incidental. Don't discuss anything beyond what he may need to know to keep your kids happy and safe, and move your focus forward to your trip. You'll have plenty of time to shake out all else later.

 

Head high, and enjOy.

[macdonner]

Well turns out I didn't have to wait until today, he turned up unannounced (sort of) yesterday to collect his motorbike (he has a garage at his apartment but wanted to leave it in my garage when he was away, not happy with it but what can I say, he pays the rent) and to say Hi to the kids. I was distracted as I was painting my nails so managed to keep it together. He said he hoped I had a good holiday and asked me if I needed anything from him (err no, seemed like a strange question to me). So all in all it went better than expected.

 

Thanks again for the tips and I will have a good time thanks Catfeeder.