23M - was exclusive but still single...downloaded Tinder for a day

[jkdkthrowaway]

So, im a 23M recently in a new relationship of about 2 weeks.

 

About 1.5 months ago (asked her to be my girlfriend 2 weeks ago) we established exclusivity by basically saying that we wouldn't want to share each other with anyone (so we wouldn't like each other hooking up or dating others) and we talked about our feelings. We still did refer to each other as single on an often basis.

 

A week later, not sure what got into me but I was lying in bed and thought about the direction our relationship was heading and thought that oh this is my last chance to ever be single, so I downloaded tinder out of I guess curiosity and a moment of temptation ("one last hoorah". Now I didnt end up doing anything, matched with a few people but a friend saw my profile and laughed at me so I deleted it right away. Chuckled to myself that I was being an idiot, and its a sign that I'm done with the single life and I moved on from it.

 

Today I just remembered this incident and felt guilty, especially since I have been experiencing relationship anxiety recently (ROCD). Not sure if I should take this to the grave with me or let her know, im sure she will be hurt but im also sure that as soon as those matches became reality, I wouldve not pursued it. I had another situation before asking her out where I was to be introduced to another girl, as soon as the opportunity became reality, I felt immediate guilt and shut it down.

 

There is always a chance that I may have done something, but I'll never know, and know for sure that I will not now, without a doubt. I believe that I wouldn't of then, but still feel guilty.

 

Not sure what to do? Should I take it to the grave and focus on being the best boyfriend I can be, or admit this too her to rid of my guilt, but I won't know the outcome. I really do care about this girl and I am putting 100% in to make this work, especially since I asked her to be my girlfriend.

 

TL;DR downloaded tinder while still single but exclusive, didnt do anything but feel guilt

[kctiger]

You're 23 and in a relationship of about 2 weeks and you downloaded Tinder because you thought this was the last chance to be single? Wow. You aren't married to this girl, nor did you propose. Reality check, the odds of this being the last relationship you have are really slim. No, I wouldn't tell her about this as it is almost so silly it doesn't merit conversation. Just focus on being a good person and boyfriend and leave this drama in the past. I feel like you are intrigued by the "chase" factor of knowing you could get a girl but once you know, you don't want to pursue anything. You're in an exclusive relationship now, so turn your attention to making the most of it. Not sure what you're feeling guilty about. I don't consider what you did cheating...I'd consider it really foolish and immature, but not cheating. Is this your first exclusive relationship?

[jkdkthrowaway]

You're 23 and in a relationship of about 2 weeks and you downloaded Tinder because you thought this was the last chance to be single? Wow. You aren't married to this girl, nor did you propose. Reality check, the odds of this being the last relationship you have are really slim. No, I wouldn't tell her about this as it is almost so silly it doesn't merit conversation. Just focus on being a good person and boyfriend and leave this drama in the past. I feel like you are intrigued by the "chase" factor of knowing you could get a girl but once you know, you don't want to pursue anything. You're in an exclusive relationship now, so turn your attention to making the most of it. Not sure what you're feeling guilty about. I don't consider what you did cheating...I'd consider it really foolish and immature, but not cheating. Is this your first exclusive relationship?

 

Had a 3 year relationship that ended up in alot of harm on both ends that I've always had the mindset that the next girl I met I'd want to marry....guess thats where it comes from

[MissCanuck]

I would not share this Tinder tidbit unless you want her to doubt you for a very long time.

 

Also, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Why do you feel you need to marry the next girl you date? You have not been together anywhere near long enough to determine your compatibility for a lifetime. Part of your problem is that you are thinking in black-and-white, all-or-nothing terms. You're freaking yourself out. You're still very young, and have plenty of years ahead of you if this relationship isn't the right one. It's not your "last hoorah" if you're not ready for it.

 

Relax, go with the flow, see how this new relationship unfolds.

[ThatwasThen]

Say nothing. Continue on in your relationship and if it gets back to her simply tell her how it went down and that it was such a innocuous action, you just let it go. Tell her all it did was make you glad you're with her even more then you were... which, by all accounts is the 100% truth of the matter.

[Careerchoice]

Had a 3 year relationship that ended up in alot of harm on both ends that I've always had the mindset that the next girl I met I'd want to marry....guess thats where it comes from

 

You may want to step back from this position. What do you know about her? How are things going to be when you fight? Your relationship hasn't been tested yet. You can't even say you have a lot of experience with women. It's highly unlikely that you are prepared to have a successful relationship, especially coming off of a failed long term relationship.

 

Instead of just trying to fill the position, how about you see if she's a good fit for you first. This takes time. Otherwise you'll probably be deluding yourself into believing she's the one, when she may be a bad fit.

 

I'll be honest, I don't even think you're in a position to be in a relationship yet. Casually dating and that's it.

[Gloriousdays]

Do not tell her anything, if you do she will start to have doubts at the back of her mind ... learn from this and move on