missing003 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Quick run through of people who don’t know my story: - me: 26 (M) - her: 22 (M) - with ex for 3.5 years - no fighting / everything seemed perfect - last month of our relationship she became distant - broke up with me - I felt fully blindsided - broken up for 7 months - no contact 5 months Need advice: I am not fully healed by any means. I am still working on myself and progressing with my healing. It’s been a really rough time, I still miss her and think about her often. But it’s nothing like before, the thoughts come and go through out the day. But I definitely still think about her often. 2 months ago I met a really sweet girl. She is great. I love spending time with her, we have great chemistry and have such a good time together. We have been on many dates in the last couple months. But I still have my ex in the back of my head and know I am not 100% healed yet. I am still having my up and down days / still having random dreams of my ex. The new girl knows that I just got out of a long term relationship and is so understanding with my situation. I really want to be exclusive with this new girl but idk if I am ready and idk what to do. How do you know when you’re ready for a new relationship? Do I back off and stay single until I feel 100% healed or do I move forward with this new relationship and build some new memories with her? Thank you for your advice! Link to comment
rosephase Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 What healing do you feel like you need to do? Some types of healing need to happen before you give another relationship a real shot (trust issues, depression, damaged self esteem... things that would get in the way of you being able to truly be with someone) some types of healing can happen great during a relationship (making emotional space from your ex, redefining yourself without them)... so it depends on why you are hurting and if you can actually show up for a relationship at the moment. What do you think "healed" is going to feel like? What are the signs you are looking for? Link to comment
missing003 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 What healing do you feel like you need to do? Some types of healing need to happen before you give another relationship a real shot (trust issues, depression, damaged self esteem... things that would get in the way of you being able to truly be with someone) some types of healing can happen great during a relationship (making emotional space from your ex, redefining yourself without them)... so it depends on why you are hurting and if you can actually show up for a relationship at the moment. What do you think "healed" is going to feel like? What are the signs you are looking for? I feel like healed will be no longer thinking of my ex constantly. Even through it doesn’t affect me like it used to, it still makes me sad. I think this new relationship could bring those happy emotions that I have been missing and being with someone who I really connect with and who really cares about me would be a great way to stop living in the past and move forward with my life. Thank you so much for your reply! Link to comment
Honeycomb8 Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Don't think you're ready. It wouldn't be fair to the new girl. Link to comment
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