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Finding love again while living with a chronic illness

Sweet Sue

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I am in my early 60's and suffering with a chronic illness. I don't look my age and I always try to

look my best whenever I am in public. To give you a little background, I was always a healthy

person for most of my life. I got married and raised a daughter. I have been divorced for 20 years.

I worked two jobs to support myself until I began experiencing neuropathic pain. I worked for another

4 years before I was forced to resign. I moved in with my dad focused on finding what was wrong with

me. To make a long story short, I was diagnosed and have been receiving treatment and am slowly re-

covering. I don't know how long it will take to make a complete and full recovery. During the last

10 years, I have been in 2 serious relationships. Let me add here that dating is like

an endurance test. I suffer with fatigue and chronic pain. I also became my father's fulltime caregiver

7 years ago. I feel like I live like a recluse, so even meeting a guy is extremely difficult. Last year,

I was on three dating sites and well, after several phone conversations with some very nice men who

seemed very interested, I never got a call back. I guess it was because I told them my job is caring for

my father...that is My job. It is hard to get away, even for one day because I can't find anyone to look after

him. My life is so depressing! I rarely go out and if I do, I know I will be for a short time because I become

so fatigued and my pain intensifies. As mentioned earlier in this post, I have had 2 serious relationships. Both

men left me because of my sickness. Can you imagine how this makes me feel? I don't know whether I should be

mad or understand that dating a person with a chronic illness is a real challenge and not everyone can do it. I honestly

don't know if I could date a man with a chronic illness.

I don't know what to do. I can't work and I am totally dependent on my father for support. He is 90 years old and has

his own health issues. I look after him 24/7 without a break or a day off, while I try to care for myself. I miss the life

I once had...I miss my health, my freedom, an active dating life, taking vacations and so much more. I get up everyday

and wonder how many more days will I have to live like this. I also worry about finances too.

I want to find love again. Sick people want to be loved too! I am "Sue" with a chronic

illness but it doesn't define me. I feel like my life is passing me by. It has been 11 years since I became ill and I

have missed so much in my life. It is hard to have someone you love leave you because you are sick and can't enjoy

things together. I am frustrated too!

I do have a strong faith and believe that one day I will be healed.


I welcome you thoughts and suggestions and thanks for listening!

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Hi Sue thanks for sharing your story. Living with a chronic illness is tough and so is taking care of a parent. My dad has a chronic illness and he has my mom taking care of him and it's such a challenge for both of them. I'm sure there being alone is tough.


Is there a match dating website for people with chronic illnesses? For example I used to have cancer and went on cancermatch website after my illness which I understand has been revamped now. I'm wondering if there is something like that for you. Or if your religious and there is a site which will match your religious views? You also may try meditation groups or support groups for your illness. I know getting away from taking care of your dad is tough but sometimes hospice centers or churches provide volunteers to help watch your dad while you go do your own thing. I would try to at first get involved in a group at least to bond and feel part of a community.


Remember, there are 7 billion plus people in the world. You're just looking to fine ONE to spend the rest of your life with. Have faith that there is someone out there

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