Any ideas what I'm feeling

[jojo24]

Just want a little advice

I'm feeling quite stressed at the moment and its almost like I don't realise it.

I have recently moved back in with my boyfriend, he is quite stressed due to work and become snappy like us all.

I let it go and let it go until we have an argument. I'm not so bothered about the arguing as it is often resloved within a hour or so, but it's when I get wound up and angry. I start crying and I just do not know what to do with myself, I'm pulling my hair and often have thoughts of self harm in the moment. I try to tell myself it will pass but it doesn't work. I have a burning feeling inside of me and I can't see past the anger or upset. Very often I just cry it out then we talk and all is well. It just worries me in that moment I could do something very stupid. When I have been like this before I use to go and but alcohol and get drunk which was awful. It's not just the boyfriend that is making me stressed. It's everything. I have just started a new job and there is a lot of information to take in as I am still in training. Om getting very wound up over little things like dishes being on the side etc. Due to my anxiety and depression I did move back in with my mother who lived 300 miles away. Which made things worse. Also I'm getting really odd feelings of unreality, just for a few moments I just dont feel here. I also get were I could just be outside having a brew and I just want to run and escape. I came off my anxiety tablets a few weeks ago and was feeling good about it. Now I'm feeling a little worried. But 95% of the time I'm happy. The random feeling only last a few minutes. And I'm not having any panic attacks etc. Just wondered if this is normal. Many thanks

Note: My boyfriend has been wonderful when I talk but I just hate talking. With a passion.

Also I am not feeling anxious about anything really. I'm feeling down but not anxious.

And I'm having very randomly what can only be described as sort of a partial seizure, but maybe not as intense.

[melancholy123]

i think you should see your doctor and perhaps a therapist. Your drinking could become an issue if you aren't careful. It never solves any problem. What you are feeling is not normal.

[jojo24]

I have had to stop drinking because it was becoming an issue. Not daily and not an addiction but every weekend I was binge drinking. I do bottle things up then when I drunk it all came out and I was a mess. I've not had alcohol for 5 weeks now. I still bottle things up. I just do not feel comfortable talking at all, I feel like I'm attention seeking, i almost feel like anyone I talk to will think I'm over exaggerating pr making it up completely. I'm having extreme mood swings from ridiculously happy, to fuming mad to heart broken and that can be all in one day. Could these mood swings be making me feel tired and run down at all?