I Don't Know What To Do..

[Mr Single]

so in the summer of 2015 I met this girl named Caroline. we met during this summer musical that we were both doing and from the moment that we met we just clicked. and that's when I fell in love. I know I'm only 19 but like I know I fell in love with her because I fell in love with the simple things about her. the way she smiled, the color of her eyes, her laugh, the way she rubbed her thumb on the top of my hand.. you get the picture. and then after the musical, I got introduced to her parents and the next day they said we couldn't date, later because of our age (she's less than two years younger than me and people think her parents are racist because I'm black and her family including her is white) and things started spiraling out of control since then. we'd occasionally flirt, or have talks and sometimes things even got heated and intimate between the two of us (not sexual, but like we'd almost kiss. I know it doesn't seem like a lot, but it really meant something to me). but she was constantly becoming more distant. she stopped replying to my texts, wouldn't try to communicate when I need clarity from her and I couldn't talk to any of my friends about it because they soon became annoyed or just didn't know what to say or do. I go to a counselor once a week and basically have spent a lot of my time there discussing Caroline. I know, I'm supposed to get over her, and trust me I have tried, but I can't. it's been over two years since we met and I still can't move on simply because she's everything I ever wanted and she made me the happiest I've ever been period. never in my life has anything, not even myself made me as happy as she did. the simplest things became enjoyable, and now whenever I accomplish something I was she was there to enjoy and celebrate it with me. I've tried to talk to other girls too, and they've all been great, but they weren't Caroline. this situation has sent me into months long depressions (I suffer from MDD), suicidal thoughts, and anxiety, these also being an amalgamation of other things going on in my life, including transitioning from high school to college last year. but what do I do? I honestly don't want to give up because I still have this gut feeling she's the one, but at the same time it's mentally, physically and emotionally destroying me that no matter what I do, I can't be truly happy without her. please help.

[Keyman]

Wow, you are really setting yourself up for a fall. You cannot be truly happy without her? That sounds like you are just fostering your own anxieties and depression. You've set this target and if you don't get her, you are going dive into your depression big time.

 

You are fixated on this girl, and since she has pulled away, you have fixated even more. It has almost gotten to a point that it's not about her anymore, but this feeling you once had for her. Sure you have tried to get over her and met other girls, but... This just sounds like excuses why you can't move on.

 

At this point in time, the thoughts of her are becoming unhealthy. All I can suggest is continuing to see your councellor and work on getting this fixation out of your head, and you life path back on track.

[abitbroken]

If she is two years younger - she is 17 and a minor. Her parents may see it that way - or if she is in high school and you have graduated - they may not like the idea of her dating someone not at her level. Don't automatically assume racism. There were girls at my school whose parents hit the roof when they found out the guy they were dating was not in their school and was some guy they met who graduated two years ago. And guys they met at concerts - no way. She may even be slipping in school and that could be the reason. Also, if come off as anxious, etc, people pick up ojn that.

 

I think you should stick with counseling since you are obsessing over a girl you knew for about a week -- you said you met at a music festival and then immediately met her folks and then she stopped texting --- it sounds like you two were seeing eachother for a week or two.

[Mr Single]

If she is two years younger - she is 17 and a minor. Her parents may see it that way - or if she is in high school and you have graduated - they may not like the idea of her dating someone not at her level. Don't automatically assume racism. There were girls at my school whose parents hit the roof when they found out the guy they were dating was not in their school and was some guy they met who graduated two years ago. And guys they met at concerts - no way. She may even be slipping in school and that could be the reason. Also, if come off as anxious, etc, people pick up ojn that.

 

I think you should stick with counseling since you are obsessing over a girl you knew for about a week -- you said you met at a music festival and then immediately met her folks and then she stopped texting --- it sounds like you two were seeing eachother for a week or two.

 

we knew each other for a month before the whole parents debocle, and we texted for about a year before she stopped responding

[abitbroken]

we knew each other for a month before the whole parents debocle, and we texted for about a year before she stopped responding

 

She's not interested. Just look at it that way. You can make up whatever reason you want--- but she isn't. You haven't seen her that whole year that you texted. If she was really interested in you, as soon as she turned 18 she would have asked to see you. But she doesn't want a relationship. She probably stopped texting because she met someone or you were more into her than she was into you.