New relationship... Girlfriend says these things. Help please

[saltandpeppa]

Hi,

Our relationship started off strong except we hung out way to much for the first 2 weeks and cut back a bit. We have been dating 2 months. She has a baby and the dad is not around and we rarely get much time alone obviously which is fine because I love the baby. She was all over me at first and always saying nice things.

 

I thought my girlfriend was acting a little off . She told me that sometimes she feels on and that she's falling in love and sometimes she does not feel anything and that she feels like things should always be steady and on, which I disagree with . She kinda left me hanging in this discussion. We went out of town and talked about it and she repeated this and said she still wanted to be together and we kind of argued. During sex she told me she loved me and a few other times. Since than I have said it back a few times and she hasn't said anything which is fine and sometimes she does, I decided I will stop saying it for a while.

 

Today we were talking and she said sometimes I think we moved a little to fast don't you agree. I agree we did in the beginning and we cut back a ton to seeing each other 1-2 nights a week or maybe 1 sleepover. Maybe once a month we go on a date alone. I am trying to give her space, and not be to needy but I am getting a lot of anxiety. I don't want to play games. I feel like I am being resorted to this. Sometimes I will text and I won't get responses for hours but than when I go out with friends she wants to know who I am with. Honestly I am all over the place and a little resentful. I care for her a lot and her baby. I want to be there and I want to give her space without playing games. I do not know if I should just end it and hope the space that way gives her an idea of really wants, or do my thing and wait for her to ask me to hang out or what method to go about all this. If you guys have any opinions on the best way to slow down without ruining things let me know.

 

Thanks

[Hollyj]

You moved too fast. It's only been two months, how can yo love her already?

 

Her actions show that she does not love you, and the novelty of a new relationship has worn off.

 

I think you should be done with this.

[Keyman]

While I can have the sense that there could be love there after such a short time, the fact that all these issues are coming up now, so soon in the relationship, would suggest there is a difference in incompatibility between you two. As the ever terse HollyJ suggests, the novelty of this relationship may have worn off and it might be time to get back into the dating pool.

[pippy longstocking]

I agree with those two scruffy bums ^^^^

 

All that content and the relationship is only 2 months old ... I know you acknowledge you went a bit quick , but she should feel more responsibility towards her child , because this could be the start of a string of men coming in and out of the baby's life .

[Hollyj]

While I can have the sense that there could be love there after such a short time, the fact that all these issues are coming up now, so soon in the relationship, would suggest there is a difference in incompatibility between you two. As the ever terse HollyJ suggests, the novelty of this relationship may have worn off and it might be time to get back into the dating pool.

 

The comment wasn't really necessary.

[saltandpeppa]

I feel you. I was in a similar situation in the first couple months of my relationship but we made it through that stage and we are going on 7 passionate and happy years together now. It can be so frustrating though, cause like you said you really care about her and her baby so this causes you to be all over the place. The trick is figuring out what is truly causing the "issue(s)" and finding a way around the issue that empowers your relationship. I would bet that, more or less, you've tried to do this, (cause obviously the alternative of breaking up really hurts) but sometimes is takes some outside perspective to really figure out what is causing the issues. I would be happy to help if your interested.

 

I would appreciate the help. She still obviously wants to be in the relationship. There are other factors I haven't talked about . Is there a place we could talk?