I hate how I look and can't change it!!! Please help.

QTpie87 · April 16, 2005

Ok, I have so had it. I have tried and tried to lose weight. I'll lose a few lbs and gain them all back if not some more to add on to my fat butt. I can't seem to lose weight. and when i don't lose i get depressed and just want to eat more (it makes me feel better.). well I need to lose it. My mom says if i can lose 27lbs and get back to were i was before i started gaining weight she will pay to get my belly perieced. she doesn't think I can do it. NO one does. I don't even think i can do it. Has any one here ever gone and lost a lot of weight for a bet or just to feel better about themselfs? if you have please tell me how you did it. YOu know the funny thing is I wrote down a lot of things to keep me going to look at when i wanted to give up, but I don't even remember I have them. rrrrrrrr.

I really need some help please.

Qtpie87

lovelostlady · April 16, 2005

i totally feel your pain.

when i was in high school I was always pretty chubby. when I started college, for some reason I lost quite a bit of weight. I think it was because I got a job at the same time, and walked quite a ways to class everyday. I literally lost like 25 lbs without even trying to. Because I was so busy all the time, there was no time to sit around and snack and stuff. i gain and lose weight still, but not very much. ive stayed pretty small all throughout college (im 5'7 and 125 lbs). i try to watch what I eat, but for the most part I eat what I want to. the first thing i will say is DO NOT DIET. it will not work. eat all the things you crave, but the secret is to eat less of it. keep making your portions smaller and your stomach will shrink with it. eventually half the amount of food will make you feel full. whenever i am bored and feel like i want to eat, even though i know that i am not hungry, i chew a piece of gum, or eat something healthy, like a banana and remember that i'll feel crappy about myself afterward if i eat half a bag of potato chips. believe me, all these little things help a lot.

another thing i wanted to comment on is how you said no one thinks you can do it. its no wonder you arent losing weight when you are getting so much negative feedback. i find it disheartening that your mom is making negative comments about you and your weight. the best thing she can do is be supportive. my mother used to make comments about my weight and it hurt me so bad, as if i wasnt already insecure enough. now my mom tells me im TOO thin. its like i can never be good enough. i know she means well, but it stinks to constantly hear negativity. and remember, your weight does not determine your happiness (i have to remind myself of this daily). dont sweat the pounds on the scale, just try to be as healthy and active as possible. good luck!

Softmoonlight · April 16, 2005

Hey darling,

why don't you try weight watchers points program? i have done it now since January and lost 15 pounds. sure you have to restrict yourself a bit...meaning you can't eat chocolate bars and chips for meals but hey, it's worth it. The diet works, you feel better, lose weight. Period.

Try it!

shawna

QTpie87 · April 16, 2005

Well i just got a job that I think i get to start this week so maybe that will help me too. SO you said you lost all that just by basically staying buisy and walking a lot? I wish It wil work for me too. Im 5'5 and i weigh 160. I wanna weigh 130. OR less if possible, but no really I would be very happy to be 130.

well thanks.

QTpie87

QTpie87 · April 16, 2005

Actually thats how my mom and little sister lost all their weight too. I have tried and tried to do that. Im still trying, it's just that I don't know what kinds of food I can eat that I will like on that diet. Well im not picky, it's just that i like to snack a lot, and it's the worst at night, uhg night. well I'm not going to weight watchers anymore cause my mom doesn't wanna pay for the meetings but im still doing the diet. I have my little point counter. and im allowed to eat 22 points a day. I just like to eat a lot of food and what i like to eat has a lot of points. What are some of the things you eat?

annie24 · April 16, 2005

I did weight watchers also and lost 35 pounds (and 10 crept back, but I'm working on them again! ) It's a great way, but you have to stick with it! Ultimately, fitting into your clothes is more satisfying than a hot fudge sunday!

greenie35 · April 16, 2005

I went from 210 lbs to 150lbs. I worked at a greenhouse one summer and the pounds melted away with all the hard work I did. I gained some back in the winter and then when I went back to the greenhouse in the spring and lost all of that and more. Evenutally I got sick of my weight going up and down. It was more depressing than just being overweight. I decided to join the YMCA and count calories. That was my saving grace. At first I was a little nervous about going to the gym because I was self-conscious about my body, but eventualy I came to realize everyone was there for the same reason...too look and feel better. I would see people of all shapes and sizes in there and I didn't feel as self conscious anymore.

What you need to do for motivation is channel all that negative feedback into fueling your workouts. They say you can't...well guess what it is completely possible. I printed out a picture of the body type (realistic) that I wanted to achieve and I looked at it...repeating to myself that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels...imagine how good its gonna feel to go shopping for new clothes and having to buy a smaller size. Imagine having more energy, wouldnt it be great to prove to those people who said you couldnt do it wrong.

AS for what you should eat...you should be able to eat the foods you like just not as much of them. If you want to keep the weight off you have to change the way you think about food. I used to eat an entire small pizza by myself and go to bed. Now I restrict myself to 2 pieces. That's plenty. Eat until you don't feel that hunger in your stomach anymore. I bought only healthy foods for meals. I ate a lot of vegetable stif frys and brown rice. Fish fish fish...protein is good helps keep your muscle while you're losing fat. Tuna fish and crackers is a good lunch...don't forget fresh fruit for snack and as a side to your meals. Always eat breakfast 1 cup of any kind of cereal (opt for the high fiber low sugar variety if you can) is usually okay w/skim or 1% milk....keep your meals under 500 calories and your snacks under 300. I also found that eating by the clock kept me from eating too much too often. If I started to crave something I would just tell myself ..ok I get to eat in anotehr hour, I'll take a walk and then when I get done it will be time for my lunch. I wuold literally eat every 2 hours and still managed to lose weight. Keep a food journal and everything you stick in your mouth write down. Read the labels on foods. Yes, eat what you want, but eat some things that are healthy and develop a taste for foods that arent processed and full of salt, sugar, and fat. It's all part of developing a healthy habit. There are LOADS of articles on the internet that can help you achieve your goals. I recommend link removed to help you keep track of what you are eating and also how many calories you are burning. IVillage also offers a lot of useful information for women trying to lose weight. Once you learn what it takes to lose weight you'll realize that you don't need to spend money on weight watchers or fancy gyms or exercise equipment to lose the weight. There's alot of things about yourself you CAN"T change, but you have it in you to change how much you weigh. Don't think it's goign to come off over night...try to lose between 1/2 and 2 pounds a week, don't overdo it. Trust me if you increase your exercise and modify your diet you are going to see results right a way, and that will only motivate you to keep going. Feel free to PM me anytime I would love to hear about your success.

easyguy · April 16, 2005

Let me tell you a success story of mine. If you follow through and take my advice, it can save your life and put you in shape without having to work out a ton.

It must have been 2 years ago when my mother took advice from someone at her work that had diabetes on the Atkins diet (who was on it and lost a ton of weight). My mother isn't exactly the most in shape person either, so she wanted to lose weight herself, but wanted me to lose it, too (I was around 230 lbs at the time). At the time I didn't want to. I felt fine (at the time) being what I was.

She dragged me into it. The first couple of weeks were a living hell, and I REALLY wanted to steal some money and buy junk food because I couldn't take the temptation any longer. We stayed away from ANYTHING that had carbs in it (bread, milk, cereal, etc). That's the hardest part of any diet... the beginning. Fortunately, there was a grocery store nearby that specialized in whole foods (the store was actually called Whole Foods). For almost 2-3 weeks we kept buying stuff from them (deli items in particular). A couple things from their deli I really enjoyed, and if anything, it was making me LOSE weight, not gaining.

So after a couple weeks, and maybe 7-10 lbs later, things got a little easier to bare, and the diet become less of a carb-free diet and more of a BALANCED diet. Balanced meaning eating healthy (meats, salads, veggies) during the school week and splurging (pizza, for example) on Friday and maybe on Saturday so you have SOME relief and not feel totally excluded from "normal" foods.

Fast forward a year or so. We started buying low carb products such as low carb granola-type bars (CarbSmart is a good brand for this) to have as a snack. Low carb chips are also out there (though not as popular). They take a while to get adjusted to, but after a while they taste normal and you usually don't feel the need to have regular chips. If you drink pop, get diet. That helps a lot. I drink a lot of pop (Sierra Mist), so we have started getting Siera Mist Free (sugar/calorie/caffeine free).

A few weeks ago I weighed myself on the scale, and it read about 200 (that's about 30 pounds in just under 2 years w/o working that hard!). Nowadays it's basically a balanced thing, though I have stabilized so to speak, so cutting out more fats (less pizza... maybe once every 2 weeks) is essential. I barely ever work out (haven't in a few months), too, though I have considered starting to do that, because it's starting to stabilize.

And let me tell you something, QTpie, IT IS VERY rewarding once the results show. If you trust me on this, than you'll be an extremely happy person. And stick to a balanced diet, don't go off it. It will become NORMAL for you after a while.

Just my 2 cents... ermm, well... $10.

CarterJonas · April 17, 2005

Well my weight tends to increase by about a stone (14lbs) during the winter but I always (mostly) manage to get this off during the spring time. All I do is eat slightly less portions, cut out snacks and increase cardio training. It is hard sometimes to stick to it but once you start to see results, thats all the motivation I want.

goodluck

Krystyl · April 17, 2005

I once weighed over 200 lbs....and now keep my weight at around 120...and I'm 5' 4" tall....

You should never, ever cut back on your eating....eating is what keeps your metabolism going to burn calories. When you deprive your body....your metabolism shuts down....and you will lose less weight than if you eat normally..and it creates a yo-yo effect...once you stop depriving yourself....even if you have lost weight..it will creep back on plus more.

Just changing your diet can make you lose weight. You don't even have to excercise. I cut out all soda and substituted water and tea(iced, unsweetened) and lost 20 lbs the first 6 weeks. With no exercise. But that motivated me....then I chose to eat only lean meats-chicken breast, turkey, fish, lean beef....and either bake or broil it. I eat lots of veggies...raw and cooked. Stir frys are great. I eat a lot of fruit too. I eat only whole wheat bread and brown rice. I do eat other things, like Lean Quisine, sugar free popsicles, ect......but the majority is what I listed.

Then I added cardio and light weight training an hour a day 5 days a week....and within 8 more months I had lost a total of 97 lbs.

Now that I have reached my goal weight, I do enjoy a "sinful endulgence" now and then...my fav foods are still pizza, french fries, and ice cream...and i do treat myself once a week....but I still exercise...and stick to my new eating lifestyle of healthy choices.

If you want to snack...do it....just make healthy choices....just make healthy choices everytime you eat. Your body will love you for it...and you will end up loving your body. Good luck.

annie24 · April 17, 2005

Congrats Krystyl! You look great! It really shows that making small changes in your lifestyle can lead to great results.

tinkerbell_79 · April 17, 2005

Hi Qtpie87

You're in a tough situation. Weight loss is a difficult gig unless you have support from the people around you. Or, if not that, at the very least, non-interference.

I am someone who as a child and young teen lived in a low income, vegetarian household and was rather skinny because of it. But came out of that situation with this incredible bottomless pit of need for food. Fear of being hungry--of not being able to have satisfying food when I needed or wanted it. So I have kind of had to battle with that since that time.

After I started working, in high school, and was suddenly financially independent, to some degree, I began to try to fill that black hole with all the foods I could never had or were never available when I was little. Basically anything with calories or that tasted good.

Which lead to a gradual upward weight gain until I hit my peak of about 160 (at 5'7") in college.

I had dieted up and down some in high school and junior college--to loose small amounts that probably could have been lived with. And so I was familiar with the concept of calorie counting. However, I guess I never had quite the freedom or the resources to do it the right way or be able to have mastery over my own desires.

I lost about 20 pounds towards the end of nursing school by counting calories and walking an hour a day. The problem was that after I graduated and got a job I began to gain it back. Until I was back to my previous weight and slightly more.

What I am not doing, is calling this a failure. Because I think what I learned, after reviewing the initial attempt, was that my plan was flawed because I was fighting myself. I was trying to create a plan that I couldn't live with. And the only way to maintain weight (I presume) is to have a plan you can live with (or modify for maintenance).

Where I fell short were in a couple of places. I tried to limit myself to foods I didn't really like and force myself to eat them at widely spaced intervals (ie meals). I also tried too hard with the exercizing and realized it was an uphill battle that only caused me to burn out.

I have since relost the 20 pounds plus 10 more that I managed to gain back but am in the process of working on again. My goal is to learn how to keep it off one day.

I think though, after all these attempts, that I have a theorem that works pretty well.

First, calories in must equal calories out. If you feel like you are capable of counting calories (and there are tons of books and websites that can help you with this), it is something that can be tailored to just about any lifestyle.

I was never one who could grasp the concept of "moderation" or "eat less" because it seemed so vague. And I wanted specific, measurable goals.

There are a couple of principles that I think you should keep in mind first:

The last thing I will add is my suggestion for calorie restriction. Depending on what your usual intake is I suggest starting with the higher end so that you don't feel completely deprived, maybe 1500 to 1800 calories. And then, as your stomach shrinks and you loose some weight, decrease your intake until, if you are completely sedentary or low activity, it is around 1300-1400 calories per day. Don't go much below 1200 because that sets your body up to try to hoard energy when you aren't dieting.

Most of all, I think the best thing is not to go into any new weight loss endeavor hating yourself. It will only be doomed to fail. You have to do it because you want to feel the best about yourself you can. And that will start to happen once you realize that whatever you decide to do is starting to work.

Sorry so long. I hope this helped.

Softmoonlight · April 19, 2005

darling, you aren't that overweight if you can eat 22 pts. that means you are less than 150 pounds. that's not bad! i am 153 and darn happy about it! maybe what you need to do is some toning exercises and read some self esteem books!

Hugs shawna

Linzy · April 20, 2005

I always thought I was chubby and I'm 14 so it's coming on early. What you need to think about is how it will affect your children, if you get overweight you won't be able to do fun things with them. If you feel like you want to eat something, eat something good for you. Eat some strawberries or something. Also, another way to lose weight, if you feel your full after you eat but there's still some food on your plate, put junk on it..ie: if you have a burger and you're full when you've only eaten half of it and some fries, but you still want to eat all of it, pour coke, pepper, salt and stuff all over it so you won't feel tempted to eat it. It'd be to nasty to eat.

pink_rain_drops · April 24, 2005

hey hun!

i so know how you feel! i hate how i look to and would love to change it!

Ive tried many times to go on diets where you dont eat or you eat the minimalist of things but believe me, u might lose weight overnight but the next day the cravings may hit you even harder and when you let down your guard and eat something that you'd label "sinful", its very hard to stop.

i completely agree with alot of what other people have posted. eat healthy, and exercise a little regularly. drink lots of water, its kinda a mind over matter thing sometimes, where its up to you to tell yourself not to eat something oily/fattening and go for a healthier option, like choosing salad over fried chicken.

eating in moderation and eating healthily are powerful weapons best of luck sweetie i hope all works out well for you!

xoxo

Stefan-Tong Long · April 24, 2005

hello, I just wanna add I read that coconut oil can help lose weight.

I'm 5'10' 156lbs and all I do is eat anything avoiding fats until my stomach is full-to help that drink lot of water or diet drinks but I waste all that energy in daily exercise.

randy · May 5, 2005

the eating junk food at night is really bad. That can have a great affect on your weight. What i ususally do now is i try to eat more fruits, (i usually do one apple, a bananna, an orange and sometimes a pear or anything other fruits for dinner and it works great. Try making some fruit drinks also. Take some strawberries, blue berries and blend them up and try drinking that. Goood stuff. And you can be cerative with what u put in the blender.

easyguy · May 5, 2005

If you're going to drink juice, don't buy packaged juices. They're full of crap that's really not good for you (sugar, to start).

drydupfob · May 5, 2005

Do this for 8 weeks you will loose the weight i promise you.

link removed

Follolw that for 8 weeks you will see a dramatic change. But one thing, don't cheat yourself, so when its time to sprint you sprint.

Also eat clean food, that means no pizza, burgers, anything with alot of fat in it. Do not do the low carb diet cause it does not work.

I was 240 with 28 percent body fat at the end of the summer last year. now im crurrently 180 lb with 12 percent body fat. I'v tried alot of different things, and the cardio program i gave you worked great for me. hopefully will work for you also.

gl and keep at it. remember to keep yourself motivated. Just imagine a perfect image of yourself and when ever you feel like you dont wana go out and run, just think about it and remember how bad you want it.

quazit · May 6, 2005

i have two simple ways to lose weight. One you should go and get tested for food alergies, find a Natural Doctor and have them take your blood and they will send it off to the lab for testing, i lost 40 pounds from just figuring out my alergies and stopping eating them. most of the foods didnt even make me feel sick, they just didnt react well with my body.

Two, find a sport you love, i recently took up ultimate frisbee. im in love with the game, trying to get practice in every single weekday. iv lost 17 pounds, i have an abismally slow metabolism though. im 5' 6" and about 190 pounds, but im proud to say that alot of it is muscle.

good luck and i hope you make your goal.

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