Sex with Friend's EX - anyone been in this boat?

[malinka]

Yes, I gave in to temptation - big mistake - NOW I know.

 

I feel SO guilty for sleeping with my friend's ex-girlfriend. He wasn't a best friend, he was just someone I talked to once every few weeks. They broke up a year ago so I thought it would be OK.

 

He warned me that she (the ex-girlfriend) is a psycho and a commitment-phobe, destroying relationships with no warning but I always fantasized about sleeping with her even though he told me these things

 

So after we slept together, 3 months later she did the exact same thing to me - broke up with any notice. To make things worse, I was using her to get over another relationship I just got out of. (rebound)

 

How can I get over this awful guilt? I can no longer talk to my friend because my nerves eat me up anytime I think about him, and I no longer talk to that girl because I was only interested in the sex, but I can't get them both OUT OF MY HEAD!!

 

PLEASE don't tell me I should talk about it with him, we now live in different cities and I don't even have his number. It's over, I just want them to stop entering my imagination. Uuugh! Just the idea that they were sleeping together fuels my blood. I just don't understand why I was never attracted to that girl, until the day my friend told me he's sleeping with her.

[Krystyl]

I've not been in a situation where I slept with a good friends ex-lover. But you really have nothing to feel guilty about....I am sure that after 1 year, your friend is waaaay over her.

So you were curious about how she would be in the sack....I don't think your friend is going to hate you because of it. Probably would tell you: I told you so about her.

I don't think you did anything wrong. You lived...you learned....now just move on. You don't have to run and tell your friend what you did....it's really none of his business what she does now or who with. He may think less of her....but probably not you....I'm not saying that's the right way to think...but probably the way it would be.

This is something that will probably take time for you feel okay with. But you'll get there.

You didn't do anything wrong......well....except for using her to get out of another relationship....now THAT you should feel bad for.LOL And it came back to bite you in the butt when she suddenly dumped you...but anyway....you can go to sleep tonight with a clear conscience. You didn't betray your friend....and you got payback for using someone to dump someone else. That might not be too nice to say....but what goes around, comes around.

Just chalk all this up as one big learning experience.

[sisterlynch]

One thing that I have heard of is to write a letter, then throw it away. Maybe that might help. Sometimes putting your more intimiate relationship feelings into words is the best way to put it behind you.

[Emotional]

you were curious, curiosity can sometimes be a big stinger. Theres not much you can do about it except, accept what you did, forgive yourself and move on.

 

Thats what i had to do, NO commment. Lol

[igotapregnantwifeand4dogs]

i did that too in my single dayz.

 

no worries bro, you will quickly forget and prolly have already.

 

when your single it's everyman for himself! so no worries, in 10 years you wont remember it!

[JT]

Well this guy was your friend. You should feel bad about his ex. Thats forbidden territory. Had the same thing happen to me. Kissed my friend goodbye that's for sure. At least your decent and feel remorse about it. I dont think he does.

 

But that's plain ol' f'ed up ... what you did. You wallow in your sorrow for awhile, then you move on.

[sisterlynch]

The story is a little confusing, did she leave you for another friend?

 

You knew that she has this sexual disfunction, or addiction before you even thought of having sex with her. You never really felt anything but lust for her. Now you have the strain of thinking of her with the guy that she was with before you?

 

The guilt that you are feeling is a form of punishment for your lack of judgement. Guilt is like a warning system that you did a bad thing, and eventually you will get over it.

 

You need to put your passion into art, or someone that you actually like and lust at the same time.