does this apology sound really good?

[JimmerJammer]

Hey all,

 

First off. I'm in a relationship with someone very special to me, in fact I'm grateful for the fact my ex and i split. gave me a chance to see so much more in life as well as seeing how better off we were being broken up. however, at the time of the breakup, i didn't feel or see things this way and unfortunately i fouled it up by being immature and irrational and literally spewing every horrible thing imagineable at her.

 

i spent a great amount of months after that point just running away from the guilt feeling she "deserved it", but that eventually left my mind when i realized the hideous act of what i had done. only she would never allow me to speak to her again. I decided it'd be best to leave her be and live with it for life, but i didn't think it was fair to her to hold on to that. so i feel the best choice would be to take her aside (at work) one day and tell her this to her face and then drop it, never to speak again.

 

"Hey ___, this goes against your wishes of me leaving you alone. Up until this point I was doing the right thing by no doubt respecting that wish, but I don't feel and never felt comfortable leaving things as they were. Such a great amount of time has passed, but being in a state of transition and change I can't help but feel this is something I need to make peace with. I do apologize for interfering with your life once more, but I hope this time around I will no longer feel the need to "fix" anything.

 

I am sorry for myself because i never understood, at the time, what I should have throughout the entire relationship leading up until and after the breakup. I can't go back in time and change what I've done, but I can change what I will do in the present and future. I hope that even if you never tell it to my face, that you find it in your heart to forgive me for all those hurtful, irrational things I did in the past. I will continue respecting your wish. Thanks for your time and understanding.

 

Jim"

 

couple things to bear in mind. i told that intro so people didn't think i had wanted to get back with her. second thing is that i didn't sleep on this because i've thought about this in the past and "slept" on it, only to wake up the next day and not act on it. some might say that was a good choice, i feel now it's just taking the easy way out.

 

so with that, does that all sound good? anything to add? take away?

[Tryingtobestrong]

Hi Jim,

 

I dont know your ex, but I think I would not want to get taken aside by my ex at work to tell me that.

 

Did you end things and she was hurt? Then any contact from your side might give her false hope of you wanting to reconsider. If you think there is a risk of that, then dont contact her at all. Better to let her think that you are a mean jerk and she is better off without you.

 

If you absolutely want to apologize to her, then make it short, unemotional and to the point.

 

Good luck!

[twelve]

im in a similar situation - i said some stupid stupid things that i regret in a moment of extreme anger.

above^ why would you not want to hear that from an ex?

I don't think it is emotional at all, i actually think it lacks emotion, and maybe if you were the one too hurt her you might want to warm it up a little.

Who ended it? details please so i can help you best.

 

Please also see my post in the latest threads if you wish.

[twelve]

ps: it sounds too much like you are trying to prove how much youve changed *which isnt a bad thing* but i think if its a sincere apology because you do feel bad for hurting her you need to tailor it more towards her.

what do you think>

just my impressions

[Tryingtobestrong]

Twelve,

 

I would not want to be taken aside by an ex at work to tell me that. I'd rather have it on neutral territory or even via mail so I could decide whether I wanted to reply or not.

[JimmerJammer]

good. good. i get where you all are coming from. she dumped me actually, found out she was seeing another guy (no sex tho) and said feelings weren't there no more.

 

so where would be neutral territory? and also, i can't e-mail her because she's blocked my e-mail address. remember, i said some pretty hurtful things at that time.

 

the thing that makes this the hardest to do is not having it feel or look like i'm doing it for my own selfish need. that would be of course removing the guilt i feel and that is what i DON'T want it to look like.

[twelve]

ah i see what you mean tryingtobestrong.

Yeah work is a bad place to do it