I don't know my own feelings, or hers.

[agricola]

I have never felt these romantic feelings since two years ago for girls, and they are tearing me apart. I don't know what my feelings are telling me about girls, as I asked one who i thought i fancied but she wanted to remain friends. I see know I was only trying to be kind to make her happy as she was going through a tough time. But I think I have always liked another from when I saw her but she got into a relationship at uni very quickly and so i missed my chance. But now she has split from her boyfriend and going by her posts on facebook she is having anxiety issues now too. I understand this as I too suffer from anxiety and now unfortunately I am depressed from it. My happiness lies in a balance from day to day and any word from her lifts my mood and the day is better. My concern is that my feelings will get out of hand like wildfire and create fantasy where were happy and together in love. So if she doesn't return these feelings, then I go into a shut down and block everything and everyone until I want life to end as there is no point without her.

 

Im at a point in my life when I feel I need someone to love me and I them. I care more about others than I do myself, and this girl is someone I care for deeply. She is the most beautiful girl I have met and I want us to be together but I fear her answer will be no because were good friends and she may feel better to stay that way. I just dont know what to do.

 

This is my first time opening up to anyone about these feelings properly, and hope people can help me with this. I feel like a freak with these thoughts and the only way to get these out of my head is to focus my feeling on the girl.

[DanZee]

Well, a snappy answer would be that your depression is affecting what you feel. Certainly two people with depression could be trouble. But from my viewpoint of being 61 years old, I would advise you to ask out your friend, see how it goes, ask her again, see how it goes, and ask her again and see how it goes. You don't want to get to age 61 and regret the things you didn't do.

 

Now all too many people just blurt out all their feelings and it scares the other person. You've got to give the other person time to consider you as a possible boyfriend. Let the other person to develop feelings for you. If she shuts you down, then you can cross her off your list and ask someone else out. You don't want to set yourself up where you're wondering for years how she feels about you. Just do it and get it over and don't waste any more time thinking about it.

[agricola]

I think thats the answer I needed to hear thank you. Its just a question of me moving on if she is not interested. It'd be be an added bonus if we remained friends if she said no but at least it clarifies my situation and I can try to move forward with no regrets and what I didn't do.