I don't want this anymore

[Nomorehappy]

Hi everyone. New here. Looking for support as I've realized my seven year relationship is not what I want anymore.

 

A little background, my partner has an ex wife and child from his first marriage. I'm sure that right there says a lot about what I'm going through. I'm sure the other question everyone will ask is - what is wrong with you, you knew exactly what you were getting into and still went through with this for 7 years. But, there's more to it.

 

I would say the first 5 or so years were good. We had a lot of issues, mostly with his ex and child and everything that comes with being in those relationships. But we were good. We worked through it. Then, he became obsessed with trying to get his child to leave her mother and live with him. He devotes every waking minute to making this happen. Sure, this might seem normal in this situation, but it's not. He wants that child to be exactly like him and nothing like her mother. He gets mad at her when he feels she's acting like her mother (to the point of making her cry). He gets mad at the child when she chooses/favors her mom over something. He thinks it's his ex influencing her, but meanwhile, the kid probably likes her mom. Big deal. Well to him it is.

 

Anyways, I'm sick of his anger. I'm sick of his actions. He takes his frustrations out on me, but expects me to take it because I'm supposed to be his supportive partner.

 

My goal is to save money so I can leave. Things won't get better. It's over.

[LaHermes]

Nomore. Welcome to the forum.

 

Glad to see you have the insight and decisiveness to know you have to leave. You are quite right. Things will not get better.

In fact it sounds like he has got a little unhinged. I feel sorry for the child.

 

"He wants that child to be exactly like him and nothing like her mother. He gets mad at her when he feels she's acting like her mother (to the point of making her cry). He gets mad at the child when she chooses/favors her mom over something. He thinks it's his ex influencing her, but meanwhile, the kid probably likes her mom. Big deal. "

[SherrySher]

He is doing massive damage to this child. If he does not want to be with the mother anymore then that's his right, but this child did not choose who will be her parents and she has every right to love her father AND mother. He is punishing his own daughter for loving her own mother and is essentially letting her know that he hates half of her. (genetically her mother is half of her).

His daughter is going to be changed forever due to her fathers behavior and is it so destructive. I sincerely feel sorry for this child.

 

You do need to get away from him. It sounds as though you've tried to be supportive and understanding but he is asking you to accept very ill behavior. This man really does sound as though he needs professional help. You have run out of options and the only thing you can do now is protect yourself and move on from him.

[Nomorehappy]

He is doing massive damage to this child. If he does not want to be with the mother anymore then that's his right, but this child did not choose who will be her parents and she has every right to love her father AND mother. He is punishing his own daughter for loving her own mother and is essentially letting her know that he hates half of her. (genetically her mother is half of her).

His daughter is going to be changed forever due to her fathers behavior and is it so destructive. I sincerely feel sorry for this child.

 

You do need to get away from him. It sounds as though you've tried to be supportive and understanding but he is asking you to accept very ill behavior. This man really does sound as though he needs professional help. You have run out of options and the only thing you can do now is protect yourself and move on from him.

 

Thanks. The plan is in action. Getting away that is. I can't be in this anymore. Has anyone else gone through this, knowing it's time to get ready to end things but knowing you have to stick around for a bit more?