Is texting cheating?

[Jen nickels]

I found out my bf of 1.2 years has been texting another woman for 2 months. He said he met her once and nothing happened and has never seen her again. He was pissed I "busted" him and had shown NO remorse. I had no choice but to kick him out of our apartment. And he moved out in record time. Our relationship was amazing up until 2 months ago-he's been agitated, distant and alwaysssss hoarding his phone. I have read several forums and it looks like I "dodged a bullet" and NC needs to be enforced immediately and indefinitely. Any advice?

[boltnrun]

The advice you got on several forums is correct.

[shellyf62]

Take the advice you have been given & stay away from this cheater.

You are very lucky you found out.

[phronesis187]

Absolutely correct decision you have made flirting is cheating

[SherrySher]

It's not always about physical contact. In fact it's not about that at all.

 

Cheating has to do with someone being dishonest to you and disrespectful to you. It is also about betraying you and trying to get close to someone else (emotionally or physically). Getting close to them could mean trying to know them more and become more involved with them on an emotional level. They don't even have to see each other! But the whole point is, he is not being loyal or respectful, he is trying to get close to another woman and get to know her better, even though he has you.

 

Some do it for more attention or for an ego boost or because they do want to take it further and eventually become physical with this person or start falling in love with them. But all are cheating just the same.

As soon as a person starts looking outside of the relationship for intimacy and flirting and other forms of physical contact or emotional closeness with someone else other than their partner, it is cheating.

You can't fix that, and you can't trust someone who will do that to you.

 

As they say, "Once a cheater, always a cheater" and 9 times out of 10, it's true. If they have it in them to cheat on you once, they can easily go back to it again.

No one wants to live with always looking over their shoulder or always feeling at threat. It's much better to get away from a cheater and find someone who does not cheat and will not cheat on you.

[Bart Barterson]

You made the right decision.

 

He is staying with you because he gets certain things from you. You have a use in his eyes.

 

He's in contact with the other woman because he's preparing her for when he gets rid of you.

 

It's totally manipulative behaviour on his part. If he was genuine about you, he would never act like this. Any female friends he has would not text him with this frequency either, unless she wanted to disrespect you and steal him from you.

 

I think you did the right thing

[Jen nickels]

Thx y'all. I have to admit, I have never experienced something like this!!! But I am all about NC-he's toxic. Last 2 weeks brought out the absolute worst in me...and probably aged me a few years. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I don't know why I'm not mourning the "love of my life" like a normal person, but he went from hero to zero OVERNIGHT!!! Ewww gross...I want no part of that!

[CashewNut]

Texting isn't cheating per se but it does mean you're not the centre of his world anymore. So best move on.

[Rollergirl13]

Yes, it's cheating! Emotional cheating. Would you do it to him? No, so you should expect the same. It's wrong and leads to more.

[MacTheII]

I went through something very similar but a key difference was presence. When I 'busted' my girlfriend, tears in my eyes sobbing about how upset it made me she profusely apologized and swore it would never happen again and she regretted it awfully. Even a couple weeks after when I was still upset I brought it up AGAIN and she reacted with just as much remorse and willingness to make right by me. If he showed zero remorse about being unfaithful I see no reason to ever forgive him.